


lunch thief

by thisismelodrama



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Breeding Kink, Car Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Epistolary, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hate Sex, Just to be safe, Light Angst, Light Spanking, Mentions of Infertility, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscommunication, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Pregnancy, Size Difference, Size Kink, Story told through text mostly, Textfic, Trust Issues, Unsafe Sex, mentions of abandonment, pls lmk if there’s any tags i missed and i’ll add them!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 24,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22977373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismelodrama/pseuds/thisismelodrama
Summary: In which Rey’s son steals Ben’s daughter’s lunch, wreaking havoc on their parent's lives.NOW COMPLETE.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 95
Kudos: 571





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, Lunch Thief is now COMPLETE on AO3. I am incredibly grateful for your support over the past few months!!! Thank you so much for coming along this ride with me and for liking my stories. <3  
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, please!!!!
> 
> thank you for the beautiful moodboards, [@reytudor](http://twitter.com/reytudor), [@bensoloswhore](http://twitter.com/bensoloswhore), [@driverenergy](http://twitter.com/driverenergy), [@kirasbens](http://twitter.com/kirasbens)!  
> 

**  
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**1\. The dumbasses:**

**2\. The (not so much) dumbasses:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


	2. II.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)!


	3. III.

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**26\. BEN'S POV.**

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**29\. REY'S POV.**

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)!


	4. IV.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)!


	5. V.

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**50\. [The day of the event at the kids' school, our beloved parents are at it again. Mostly Rey, as usual]**

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	7. I.

In hindsight, Rey thinks she shouldn’t have suggested they’d meet at Maz’s. But she worked double shifts the entire week—because Rian’s birthday was coming and she needed the extra money. She was extremely tired and sleepy, and even though they called a truce and were a bit _friendly_ towards each other, today more than ever she hated Poe for forcing her to interact with him more than was strictly necessary. 

She’s thinking of suggesting taking the kids to the city’s aquarium, even though it’s gonna be tough to handle twenty five year-olds in public. They’ll have to ask for other parents to volunteer as chaperones, and just the thought of that makes Rey’s stomach sink. She really hates to be around the other moms who are always passive-aggressive towards her and Rian.

By the point she is almost finished with her last shift—she'll have to close today—and the restaurant is almost empty, Rey feels incredibly nervous. Her appearance isn’t the best today: her work white shirt has a tomato sauce stain above her right breast, her hair is all greasy, pulled up in a high bun on her head and it looks like she didn’t wash it in a week; her makeup was already all smudged, and it’s not like she _cares_ what he thinks about her looks, because she definitely doesn’t. It’s just that he’s always wearing his fancy, expensive lawyer clothes and she feels self-conscious. It’s all a matter of the inadequacy she always feels around the parents who appear to actually be grown-ups and to have shit figured out, while she certainly doesn’t. 

One hour later, her shift is finished, Maz already left with Chewie, she’s cleaning up the entire restaurant and he still hasn’t showed up. Not even a single text to explain what’s going on and why he stood her up.

But it’s _fine_. She’s in such a sour mood, she’s glad that at least she doesn’t have to pretend for the sake of the greater good that he doesn’t infuriates her and deal with him on a Friday night after the hell of a week she’s had.

When Rey finishes wiping the floor, she hears someone knocking hard on the restaurant’s door, but she’s sure she locked the door and put up the CLOSED sign. She ignores at first, but when the knocking doesn’t stop she walks towards the entrance and—

_So much_ for not dealing with him tonight.

Rey takes a deep breath and tries her hardest not to roll her eyes when she steps closer to the door and unlocks it, lets him come in and closes the door again. She steps away from him, but he stays rooted to the stop. 

“It’s late—”

“I’m sorry, I—”

They look at each other. She was right about him wearing his fancy clothes: his pristine white button shirt, and black suit and pants always makes him look so serious and elegant. He’s not wearing a tie today, or perhaps he just took it off and left it on his car. By the look on his face, Rey can see he’s probably had a bad day, maybe even worse than hers. 

Yet, there’s a mix of feelings inside her that she always attributes when she’s close to him and she’s obviously more upset about him not showing up than she thought, “You should’ve at least text if you would make me wait for so long.” 

And she knows she _didn’t_ wait that long and she’s not being _fair_ to him, but she can’t stop herself when she says coldly, “I’m not at your disposal, you know.”

He stares at her like she slapped him, and _that_ look makes Rey regret instantly for being…

“Yeah, right,” He huffs out a breath, interrupting her line of thoughts. His jaw works, his fists clench at his sides. “Why are you _always_ like this?”

“What?”

He steps closer, entering the restaurant while she walks backwards. He looks at her up and down, stops at her face and asks again in a harsh tone, punctuating his words like he’s trying to make a point to a person who isn’t speaking the same language. “Why. Are. You. Always. Like. This?”

“Like _what_?” She demands and glares at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Like I’m not going to let you treat me like I’m beneath you because your time costs more money?”

“I _never_ said—”

“I’m not going to let you do what all the other parents—”

“You’re always so _hostile_ towards me, I don’t—”

“If you think I’m going to let you walk all over me—”

“I never meant to be late, I was ready to apologize—”

“Yeah, like it’s something you’re used to do often—”

“Honestly, you always like to say how _infuriating_ I am, but you _refuse_ to acknowledge that you’re just as difficult!” he shouts. “Sometimes even more so.”

At some point during their fight, they drifted towards each other and now they’re just inches apart. Rey knows she should put some distance between them, but the tension is so thick and palpable, she could cut it with a knife. And she hates that she always has to look _up_ to meet his eyes, but when she does, she realizes he isn’t even looking at hers, instead looking at her mouth. His cheeks are flushed and his pupils are so wide Rey can’t even see their color. He exhales, hard, and he looks at her eyes like he’s—

Before Rey even registers what’s happening, they’re kissing each other. There’s a clash of teeth and his nose bumps against her cheek and he groans against her mouth like he’s annoyed he isn’t doing it right and changes the angle of his head and— _oh,_ his lips are so soft, his tongue traces her lower lip like he’s asking for her to open her mouth, and it’s pure instinct when she does and he moves his tongue against hers. His hand travels down her body to grip at her waist, bringing her closer to his body and she feels how hard he is against her belly. 

_What the fuck is happening_ , Rey thinks, but neither of them makes a move to stop the kiss, instead, they stumble on each other’s feet while Ben slowly walks backwards towards the booths at the back of the restaurant. He’s too tall for them to be doing that in this position and he seems to catch up on that, because all of a sudden she’s being lifted, her flat heels falling from her feet, her legs wrapping instinctively around his waist. 

He stops when his back hits the wall, his lips leaving hers as he plants open-mouthed kisses on her jaw, her neck, her earlobe, drawing out a low moan out of her. He steps away from the wall and places her on the nearest table, his mouth finding hers in a fierce kiss that makes her stomach flutters and her heart beat wildly against her ribs. One of his hands comes up to rest at her neck, caging her into this moment, and the other moves all over her body, stopping at her ass, trying to bring her body closer, except her skirt is on the way. She breaks the kiss for a moment and takes her legs off of his waist, pulling her skirt up until her middle. 

For an instant, she thinks if he’s gonna be put off by the panties she chose to wear today: a beige cotton thing that probably only a grandma would wear because it’s laundry day tomorrow and sex was the furthest thing from her mind, but one look at the way he’s staring at her tells it all. 

His hands slowly caress her inner thighs and goes up until he stops at the damp patch on her panties, tracing his fingers there. He looks at her in bewilderment when she lifts her hips a bit so he can pull her panties down her thighs. 

“Why are you so—” He says when his hand traces her folds and slides a finger inside. He seems shocked she’s wet and to be honest, so is she.

“I _don’t_ _know_ ,” she replies, annoyed.

She doesn’t know why her stupid body is reacting to him like that. She can admit that she thinks he’s an attractive man, of course, but she _absolutely_ hates his guts and she was never one for sleeping with men she doesn’t _at least_ think are nice. So yeah, Rey doesn’t know why she’s considering letting him fuck her on a table at her workplace, but these are her life choices right now. She grabs his bicep for support as he keeps thrusting a finger inside her, paying attention to the way she reacts to him and— _no_ , she can’t do it like this, she can’t keep looking at him when he’s staring at her like _that_ , it’s just…

Rey puts a hand over his and stops what he’s doing. He looks a bit confused and lost and she looks down at his feet to avoid meeting his eyes as she hops off the table and turns around and braces the edge of the table for support. She hopes she can take the hint. 

He does. He comes closer and his hands grips her waist, and then he stills behind her. She can tell he’s started to overthink it and Rey restrains herself of begging him, “ _oh god, fuck no, don’t you dare stop right now”_ because she’s not _that_ desperate, when he says quietly, “I don’t have a condom.”

And Rey _knows_ better. She has a kid, for fucks sake. She knows she should stop this madness right now and don’t be stupid. _Don’t be stupid,_ a part of her says. The other who’s incredibly turned on and hasn’t gotten laid in over a year remembers her she can do this. 

“I’m clean,” she says, her voice husky with lust. “And on birth control.”

“I’m clean, too.” 

Should she even _believe_ him, she wonders, but then she concludes he’s not a man who knows how to lie very well.

“So…”

Her words hang in the air. She’s leaving him the option to go through with this or not, and when Rey finds she doesn’t _really_ want him to say no, she feels a little nervous about it. _It’s just sex,_ she tells herself. Sex with someone she absolutely despises, yes, but it’s just an exchange of fluids and it doesn’t have to mean anything. 

In fact, she would love for them to forget about this night as soon as it’s over.

She cranes her neck to look at him and is surprised at herself when the next words come out of her mouth, “Just fuck me already.”

They stare at each other for a moment. She doesn’t like the intensity she sees in his eyes. She turns her head, lifts her hips up and stares at the wall in front of her. She feels him getting closer, his hand splaying the expanse of her waist— _fuck_ , why is he such a massive man—and hears the unbuckling of his belt. She can’t help the gasp that comes out of her mouth when he slides slowly inside her.

“Are you—” he starts asking, but she interrupts him:

“I’m fine,” she hisses. “Just do it.”

And he lays her down on the table and pulls her hips closer to him at the edge of the table and pushes all the way in. _God_. They both groan at the same time, and Rey enjoys the feeling of being stretched to the brim—even if it burns a little at first. 

“ _Fuck_ —”

He starts moving in and out of her slowly, and the silence in the restaurant is so strange, only the lewd sounds of his hips against hers, their heavy gasps and moans.

  
  


“God why are you so—”

“ _Inappropriate? Irresponsible?_ ” 

He huffs out a breath and thrusts inside her a bit harder than before, almost as if he’s punishing her for saying it out loud. 

But isn’t that what he thinks of her?

“I meant to say _tight_.” His hand smacks her ass and she screams in shock. “Do you like that?” 

The smugness in his voice… He’s such a cocky _asshole_ and if she wasn’t this close to coming she would seriously punch him. He hits her ass again and she lets out a loud moan. “It sounds like you do.”

“ _God, yes, I do_ —” she answers reluctantly. “ _Do that again, please,_ ” 

It appears she’s not beyond begging. _Bollocks_ , she doesn’t want to think about how she will ever face him again after this. 

“As you wish.” He replies and hits her other cheek and it stings _so good,_ she feels a tightness beginning to coil low in her belly and she knows she’s almost _there_. “Again?”

She _hates_ how he’s enjoying the mess he’s making of her, and if she could kill him without being prosecuted, she would. 

“Again, Miss Johnson?” he repeats.

“ _Fuck you._ ” she blurts out with a whimper, unable to contain the rage she feels inside. 

“It seems I’m—” a slap on her ass, “the one,” a hard thrust of his hips that makes the table squeak under her, “fucking you, Miss Johnson.”

Suddenly, she’s coming so hard she sees stars under her eyelids, and she’s chanting _fuck you fuck you fuck you_ over and over again while he continues to pound into her until he stops.

“ _Nooooo, why did you_ —”

In a minute, she’s being lifted off the table and pressed against his chest, his mouth slanting bites on her neck, his hand pulling her hair. “Do you want to come again?” he murmurs against her neck. 

_Yes_ , she hears herself saying, _keep going_ , _just like that_. 

She never had sex on that position before and she’s still shaking from her orgasm, and she’s _so full_ of him it’s insane. His other hand goes to her waist and travels down slowly, he starts rubbing his thumb at her clit at a fast pace, then he starts moving again.

And _it’s too much_.

“ _Fuck_ — _ah, god_ —” she cries out, her thighs shaking with another orgasm, her eyes squeezed tight, her breath coming out all ragged. She bats his hand away from her over-sensitized clit and his breath is so hot on her neck, she can tell he’s close by the way his movements are erratic and uncoordinated. 

Just another particularly hard thrust and he comes inside her with a groan and a bite on her shoulder. He holds her against his chest, trying to normalize his irregular breathing, and when he pulls out she feels his cum dripping down her thighs. He lets go of her gently, and she exhales deeply as her bare feet touch the ground, her legs still so shaky she has to brace the table for support. She kinda doesn't want to turn around and face him yet, so she bends down and pulls her panties up, putting herself together and buying some time.

Finally, she turns around and he’s still _so close_. His hair is disheveled and a bit damp on his forehead, his cheeks are flushed and his plush lips are swollen. Anyone who will see him like this will know what just happened. He tucks his shirt inside his pants, fastens his belt and looks up at her.

He steps away from her, probably sensing her discomfort and lets out an exhale, running his fingers through his damp hair. He opens his mouth and closes it, as if he doesn’t know what to say. 

She makes it easier for him.

“You can go.” Rey suggests, hating how her voice sounds so dry, averting her eyes. She looks everywhere at the restaurant but him. “I’m gonna finish cleaning up.”

He clears his throat and Rey can feel his eyes on her. But she can’t look. She stares down at the floor and watches his feet move and make their way towards the lounge, bar and finally the exit. She hears the door opening and closing, and only then she looks up, and finds she didn’t really like that he didn’t look back at her, not even once.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


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	11. XI.

Rey takes a deep breath as she looks at the mess that’s her apartment right now. Having fifteen five years-old running, jumping and screaming around was really… something. But then she looks at Rian building the Lego’s _Millenium Falcon_ in the living room with Hannah, looking happy and healthy with his rosy cheeks, and everything fades away. This is all that matters at the end of the day, anyway. 

She collects the food dishes from the table in the corner of the living room and takes them to the sink. As soon as she turns on the tap, she hears the bathroom door open and steps coming down the hall. Kaydel appears at the kitchen door, smiling at her and she smiles back.

Rey really likes Kaydel. They’re the same age, and she’s fun in a crazy way that Rey never allowed herself to be because… _well_ , parenting at a very young age and shit like that. But she’s been acting strange ever since she arrived with Hannah. 

Which should be a relief to Rey because she’s been trying her hardest to avoid seeing _him_ in person ever since what happened—something that she’s _definitely not_ playing over and over again in her head, to her absolute dismay—, but Kaydel spent all afternoon throwing looks her way that made Rey feel uneasy. All day, she wondered if he said something to Jannah and Kaydel and that’s why she was the one who brought Hannah today. 

“Are you leaving?” Rey asks, trying her best to make her voice sound normal and not at all high-pitched. 

“Oh, yes, we’ll be out of your hair soon, don’t worry,” Kaydel replies and takes her phone out of her pocket. She looks at the screen and smiles. “Benji will be here in a few.”

The mention of his name makes Rey almost drop the plate she’s washing on the floor, and the maneuver she makes for it not to happen makes water splash all over her dress. “Oh.”

And it seems to be the wrong thing to say, because Kaydel comes closer and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Rey, is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course!” Rey replies in a cheerful tone. 

Kaydel frowns at her. 

“Is it because Benji is coming? Because I’ve called an Uber to bring Hannah here since he and Jannah were busy and I’m gay so I can’t drive, duh,” Kaydel talks away, gesturing wildly with her hands. “But if you don’t want to see him that’s okay, even though I thought you guys were getting along, maybe I was—“

Rey interrupts her. “It’s okay, Kay. We’re fine. Don’t worry.”

As if on cue, the doorbell rings and Rey stops washing the dishes. Kaydel smiles at Rey again and yells from the kitchen, “Lil’ bean, your dad is here! Time to go!”

Hannah whines from the living room, “Noooo! I wanna _stay_!”

Rey stays rooted to the spot until the doorbell rings again and she remembers she’s the one who’s supposed to go get the door. Right. 

She walks out of the kitchen with Kaydel, the latter going to the living room to convince a crying Hannah that _no_ , _she can’t stay here_ _for the rest of her life_.

Rey walks to the door, confirms it’s him through the peephole and takes a deep breath before opening the door, finding out she really wasn’t ready to see him again. He’s wearing dark denim jeans, a black sweater and black boots and the sight of him in casual clothes makes her stomach flutter, and flashes of all the things she’s been trying _not to think about_ returns to her mind. 

Rey looks at him, her hands clutching the door and half of her body behind it as if she’s protecting herself from something she can’t quite name yet. He stares back at her with an impassive look, like he’s really doing what she asked of him; pretending nothing happened. Which is… _good_. That’s what she wanted. They continue to look at each other for a few awkward seconds before Rey remembers she has to say something.

“Hey,” she says in a low voice.

“Hey,” he replies. “Is Hannah ready to go? Kaydel texted me a while ago.”

At the mention of her name, Hannah comes out of the living room and runs past the door screaming “Daddy!”, immediately wrapping her little arms around his legs. It’s an endearing moment to watch, the way she clings to his legs and how much she looks like a small human beside him. 

He looks down at her and pats her hair. “Hey pumpkin, did you had fun?”

Hannah starts telling in great detail everything she did this afternoon as he patiently listens to her, occasionally offering incentive for her to go on whenever she asks something to him. It’s… _adorable_.

Kaydel appears behind her and drops a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, Rey, this was fun,” she says as she gets past the door and stands by Mr. Solo’s side. “Although I have to say this was good for me to make up my mind about not having children. I’ll just stick with Lil’ Bean forever.”

“Yeah, god forbid if you have children,” Mr. Solo jokes. “Poor kid.”

Kaydel punches his arm, mouthing _idiot_ at him and he just rolls his eyes, ignoring her. 

“Okay, Hannah, say goodbye to Miss Johnson and Rian,” he says, taking Hannah’s hand. 

She starts shaking her head and desintagles her arms from her father’s legs, “Nooo! I don’t wanna say bye to Rian.”

_Of course_ Rian chooses this exact moment to appear behind Rey’s legs, his tiny hands clutching her dress as he looks up at her with pleading eyes. “Please, mommy, let Hannah stay,”

“Honey, you can play with her again on Monday when you go to school.” 

“No,” Rian whines. “Monday is a lot of days away,”

“It isn’t, you’ll see.” Rey promises, running her fingers through his hair, thinking that maybe Armie was right and he does need a haircut... 

Suddenly, Hannah stops crying and looks at Rey and then at her father, her face beaming like she finally cracked a puzzle as she asks, “Daddy, can Miss Johnson be my new mommy so I can stay here and play with Rian forever?”

Rian immediately agrees, letting out a scream of joy, “Yes! Please, mommy!”

At first, Rey isn’t sure she even heard it _right_ , but as Kaydel lets out a squeal that she doesn’t know if it’s either from shock or joy, it finally registers what Hannah and Rian are asking and she feels her cheeks redden. When she looks up and exchanges a look with him, she sees he’s blushing, too. 

Kaydel raises her eyebrows and looks at them like she’s finally figured something out.

It’s Hannah’s voice that takes them all out of the sharing-weird-looks moment.

“Daddy? Please?”

Mr. Solo bends down, looking into her eyes. “Hannah banana, we've talked about this.”

“But daddy, that’s the only way—”

“Hannah.” he says in a stern voice, leaving no room for arguments.

She closes her mouth in a pout and sniffs quietly. “Say bye to Rian now, pumpkin,”

Hannah turns around and waves at Rian. He does the same, still hiding behind Rey’s legs. 

“Let’s go, Hannah,” Mr. Solo says and she wraps her tiny arms around his neck as he gathers her up in his arms, turning around to leave.

“Bye, Rey, see you soon,” Kaydel says in a cheerful tone and does a little wave with a big (and honestly, _scary_ ) smile on her face.

“Bye, Miss Johnson,” Hannah mutters, her voice muffled by the way she’s clinging to her father’s shoulders.

“Bye, sweetie.” Rey answers.

As soon as they’re out of sight, Rian runs to his bedroom, but Rey stays for a moment. And she can’t help but think it’s the second time she’s watched him leave without saying a word to her and she doesn’t know what to do about the sinking feeling on her stomach and the way something tightens on her chest at the thought.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


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**108\. [Timeskip: a few days later!]**

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	13. XIII.

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	14. XIV.

Rey wonders for the thousand time if she’s making a big mistake as she clutches her coat against her body while waiting for him in the lobby of the small building she lives in. And yes, she knows that going out with him will just add more confusion to the mix of feelings bubbling up inside her chest. She doesn’t know what to make of them yet and she’s sure he would never… feel the same way. Putting it like that, she’s _definitely_ about to make a gigantic mistake, but she has always been good at compartmentalizing, so there’s that. 

She’s almost giving up and going back to her apartment when she sees the black Audi stopping in front of her building, because _of fucking course_ he would drive a fancy car like that. Rey chuckles and sighs, making her way towards the car, looking around to see if there’s any neighbors who could’ve seen her sneaking out so late. Luckily there isn’t, so she makes a quick run to his car, opening the door handle and letting herself in.

She takes a deep breath before turning her head to face him, finding that he’s already looking at her. 

“Hi,” she says, trying her best to maintain eye contact with him even though she’s incredibly nervous. 

“Hey,” he replies.

And then… silence. She averts her eyes, and god, things are so _awkward_ , what the fuck was she even thinking, asking for such a thing? She remembers an episode of a TV show that said no good decision could be made after 2AM and immediately feels panic rising in her chest. Maybe she should just—

He drops his hand to her thigh and squeezes it lightly, taking her out of her reverie. She looks up at him and his eyes are so intent on her face, almost as if he’s sensing her hesitation. 

“Where do you want to go?” he asks in a low voice. “Do you want me to take you—”

“There’s, uh, a playground a few blocks from here,” she interrupts him. “No one will see us—“

He snorts. 

She glares at him. “What?”

“Do you want to do this in my car in a playground?” he asks in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

Rey opens her mouth to argue, but finds she has nothing to say. She starts to count ten seconds in her mind so she can gather up the courage to get out of his car and forget this night ever happened. Forget all of this: meeting him, letting him fuck her that first time and being unable to follow her own request to pretend it never happened.

And then, she hears him taking a deep breath as he starts the car. 

🍔🍟

Rey gives him instructions to where to go, and as she takes in her surroundings she realizes how nice his car is. And now she thinks she’s being stupid because of course they’ll ruin the leather seats if they fuck inside it.

“Are you angry because we’ll ruin your car if we fuck here?” she blurts out before she can help herself.

“I’m not angry, I just wanted—“ he shakes his head, as if thinking better about now saying anything and then: “Never mind.”

She’s in no position to ask him what he really wants, even though she’s almost dying with the need to do so. 

He looks at her, assessing her clothes, and his hand comes back to her thigh. She looks down at his hand and then back at him and opens her coat, revealing the black silk nightgown she’s wearing that stops at her mid thigh and leaves most of her legs exposed. 

“ _Fuck,_ ” he curses. 

“What?” 

He doesn’t answer. He tilts his head back to pay attention to the road, one hand on the steering wheel and the other trails further up her thigh to her center, letting out a surprised gasp.

“You’re not wearing panties,” he mumbled, tracing his fingers on her folds and sliding two fingers inside. “God fucking dammit, you’re so _wet_. Were you thinking about this before I got here?” His fingers swirl around her clit and she gasps. “Were you thinking about me fucking you over a table that day?”

“You should pay attention to the road,” she breathes out as she shifts her body towards him to give him more access.

“Tell me, Miss Johnson.” he demands in a hoarse voice. 

  
  


And how the fuck does he make _Miss Johnson_ sound so sexual? Rey wanted him to call her that to keep a distance from him, but now hearing him say it in his stupid deep voice it’s only making her squirm and get wetter by the second. So yeah, it’s the _Miss Johnson_ that makes her lose it, letting out a loud moan when his finger curves slightly inside her and she arches towards his hand, chasing the high she’s so close already, _fuck_ —

He withdraws his fingers and stops the car.

“ _Why did you_ —” she whines, not recognizing how breathy her voice sounds at all. 

“We’re here,” he points with his finger towards the deserted playground and lets out a low chuckle. 

“What?” 

“I’m beginning to think you like to have sex in public spaces, Miss Johnson,” he jokes. 

He sounds so relaxed and amused, which is the complete opposite of how she’s feeling right now.

“Here I thought you were worried about your car,” she retorts.

“I don’t give a fuck about the car,” he answers and looks at her with beseeching eyes. “Come here.”

Rey unfastens the seat belt while he reclines his seat back, making more space for her. She takes off her coat and gets up from the seat, moving her legs over the stick shift, his arms coming up to her back, helping her settle on his lap. She adjusts her legs on his lap, trying to be more comfortable, already feeling his erection pressing against her. She sighs and looks at him. He’s gazing back at her and it’s _disconcerting_ how beautiful his eyes are. 

And it’s so quiet in the car, Rey isn’t sure how he isn’t hearing how wildly her heart is beating right now. She runs her hands over his chest, feeling the warmth of his body and how hard his muscles are through his pajama shirt and she wonders how he looks underneath. Her hands come up to his face slowly, tracing her thumb on his lips and closing the distance between them.

The kiss is tentative and slow at first, just a light pressure, completely different from their first kiss. He lets her kiss him the way she wants to, his right hand coming up to her neck, massaging her nape. She sighs and opens her mouth to deepen the kiss, his tongue moving in and brushing against hers. Rey will never get over how soft his lips are against hers, how sweet he tastes inside her mouth, how dizzy she feels with the things he does with his tongue. His other hand caresses her spine slowly, and breaks the kiss, drawing out a soft whimper of her mouth. He pulls her nightgown over her head and she can’t help the shiver that runs through her body when the cold air of the AC hits her skin.

“What are you—” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

“Shh,” he whispers and leans his head forward, gently removing her hands from her breasts. “I want to see.”

“They are— _ahh, fuck_ ,” she moans when his mouth suddenly closes on her right breast, his tongue lapping at her pebbled nipple while his hand plays with the other. She lolls her head back and lets out a breathy sigh. “This feels good.”

“Yeah?” he asks as he pinches one nipple and she whimpers, her hand coming up to tug at his hair.

Yes, it feels fucking _amazing_. Rey had no idea she could be that turned on with someone playing with her tits, as she starts grinding against his thigh in search of friction, the fabric of his sweatpants a rough thing against her core. “I need—“

“What? Tell me,” he says, and his mouth is _everywhere,_ his lips trailing open-mouthed kisses all over her chest. She pulls at his hair and pushes him away, her lips finding his instantly, kissing him roughly and desperately.

She breaks the kiss and breathes out, “Fuck me. _Please_.”

It’s an awkward maneuver for them—it’s a spacious car, but he’s a big man and she doesn’t want to get off his lap, but they manage to push his sweatpants down and— his cock springs free, and she hadn’t actually seen it before… And god he’s _big_. She licks her lips instinctively while looking at it, her small hand wrapping around his shaft. _Fuck_ , she’s positively dripping over his thigh now. 

“You’re also not wearing underwear,” she says as her hand pumps his cock up and down, her thumb smearing at the precum leaking from his tip and spreading onto his shaft.

“I don’t—“ he breathes out, “I sleep naked.”

Rey makes a committal noise, looking down at the way she’s gripping his cock, trying to figure out a rhythm for him, “Is this good? Do you like—“

“This is great,” he replies. His hand closes around hers and he helps her move him just the way he likes it, a low moan escaping his lips. “Miss Johnson.”

“Yes?”

“This will— _ah_ —be over real soon if you don’t stop.” he reaches down and grasps her wrists, stilling her movements. “I’d like to fuck you before coming all over your hand.”

“Right.”

She lifts off her hips slightly, her head almost hitting the roof of the car and braces his shoulders for support while she takes him in her hand and slides through her folds for a moment, both of them moaning loudly when the tip of his cock grazes her clit. She guides him inside, slowly sinking down on him, inch by inch, until there’s no more room inside her.   
  


“ _Ah_ —“ she hisses through gritted teeth, still unused at how much he stretches her, taking a deep breath, trying to relax her thighs.

  
“Are you okay?”  
  


“Yes, it’s just… _God_ , you’re too big.”  
  


She didn’t mean to say it out loud and the chuckle he lets out makes her roll her eyes.

“Typical.” she snorts.

“Sorry if it strokes my ego when I have a woman riding my dick saying I’m too big,” he jokes.

“ _Shut up_.” 

She starts to move. It’s… so different from the first time, the way she grinds up and down on him slowly, her chest heaving, her eyes squeezed shut with the exquisite pleasure that is the drag of his cock hitting all the right spots inside her, places she never reached alone or with someone else before. 

She looks at his face focused on how their bodies are connected and how flushed his cheeks are, and realizes she was right that first time, doing it like this is way more intimate. And he’s so handsome up close, it makes her chest fill with something she doesn’t recognize, scaring the shit out of her. She shakes her head as if it can prevent her thoughts from spiralling, and tries to focus on the way he’s gripping her waist and how his breath is coming out all ragged.

“Ah, fuck. Why is this, _fuck_ , so—” he asks in a daze, and Rey isn’t even sure if it’s a question or he’s just babbling away in pleasure, like he can’t believe that sex could ever be this _good_. 

And to be honest, she feels the same way. She doesn’t voice it, though. She only moans and leans forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, her hips speeding up the movement until she feels her thighs burning with the exertion.

“Are you close?” he asks, his hand coming down between them, his fingers finding her clit and circling around it slowly. 

She feels the pressure building inside her as he starts to meet her thrusts while thumbing at her clit. Rey’s head lolls back and he leans forward, nibbling on her chest, collarbone, her throat. He’s _everywhere,_ overwhelming her senses to the point she can’t even think straight. 

“Don’t bite me,” she murmurs when his teeth graze her shoulder.

“What?”

“You bit me the last time. Don’t do that.”

“Sorry—did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to—”

She’s quick to ease his worries. “No, you didn’t, it’s just… It’s hard to hide if you do it on such a visible spot. You can… do it somewhere people can’t see.”

“Oh.” his mouth moves to her neck and he bites her earlobe as he thrusts his hips back into her so roughly it makes her groan. “You’re really—“ he begins to say against her neck but then shakes his head and shuts his mouth. 

And she wants to ask _what_ _does he mean, what all of this means, why is he always on her mind, why does he drives her crazy, why does he fuck her so good_. She squeezes her mouth shut to prevent from saying all of this out loud.

“Let me fuck you again.” he murmurs as he trails his mouth lower, his lips closing around her nipple again, and she wants to remember he’s still deep inside her, but he goes on: “After tonight.” 

It’s the thought of doing this again and a flick of his thumb on her clit that makes her come, her cunt clenching around his cock as her thighs shake with the force of her orgasm. His mouth finds hers again in a sloppy kiss, his tongue sweeping against her lower lip as he continues to fuck into her, the sounds of his hips slamming into hers the only thing they can hear. He comes with a grunt against her mouth, his cock twitching inside her as he fills her with his cum. She worries about the mess they’ve made on his car again, as he breaks the kiss and breathes out, in a strained voice, “Don’t… don’t say I have to pretend it didn’t happen, because I can’t.” 

  
  


“ _Yes_ ,” she whispers, and then worried that he didn’t hear it, she repeats in a firmer tone: “Yes.”

Because what’s the point of denying it anyway? Even if she thinks they definitely don’t have a future besides two people fucking each other’s brains out. But it’s okay because sex is a good stress relief and he knows how to fuck her good. 

He stares at her with a sated look on his face. He moves his head closer, his mouth trailing kisses and bites all over her chest, “Properly this time.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean on a bed,” he laughs against her skin, “I want you spread on a bed where I can see all of you and I want to eat your pretty little cunt until it's all swollen and you’ve gushed all over my face at least twice.”

She shivers at how these words come out of his sinful mouth so easily. 

The mental picture she gets on her mind is instantly: his head buried between her thighs while she tugs at his stupid silk hair, his tongue and fingers deliciously making her come apart over and over again and— _No_. 

She can’t do that. 

“No,” she shakes her head. “This is too intimate... I can't do that.” 

She regrets the words as soon as they come out of her mouth, and now that it’s out she wishes she could take them back, because he stops what he was doing and backs away to look at her, and the defeat she sees on his face makes her body go cold. 

“Okay,” he nods. “Whatever you want. Just text me when, for the next time.” 

Rey dumbly nods back and he averts his eyes from her face as she lifts her hips off him slowly. She grabs her nightgown, pulls it over her head and jumps back to the passenger seat, putting on her coat, avoiding looking to the side while he gets dressed. He starts the car a minute later, and they say nothing while he drives her back home. When he gets there, she quickly gets out of the car, before having the chance to say something stupid and make things even worse than they already were. 

She goes to bed with a soreness on her thighs and an unpleasant feeling tightening inside her chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


	15. XV.

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	16. XVI.

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	17. XVII.

Rey has learned a few things about wanting. When she was a kid, she wanted a family. After being tossed around foster homes, all of them going through a scale to bad from downright awful, she stopped wanting that. She focused on school and on her dream of becoming a mechanical engineer.

Until she met Rian’s father.

He promised her a lot of things she yearned for and never had. He told her she was loved and wanted to build a future with her, that he would never leave. And it was _oh, so easy_ to believe him. She was young, naive and starved for things other than just food.

By the time Rian was born, Rey was once again all alone. She thought she would never be good enough to be a mother. There were things she still had to figure out, and she was so scared of failing. But there was a tiny human crying on her arms that depended on her for everything now, and she would never leave him.

It was a different kind of family she always dreamed and wanted, but it was one nonetheless.

Rey knows all about wanting. And lately, there are things she wants, things that she hides deep inside herself and thought she would never want again, not after Rian’s father. And yet she finds herself daydreaming about them more often than not. Big hands roaming over her body. Soft lips against her own. An unconventionally handsome face popping up on her mind all day. A sultry, deep voice whispering the dirtiest things against her ear.

She wants, wants, _wants_.

When they’re not together, she scrolls through their texts and touches herself to the things he said to her, how he would love to do this forever, how beautiful she is when she comes. She touches herself to exhaustion, until her legs are numb, memories of them playing on her mind over and over again, until she falls asleep thinking how nice it would be if he really meant what he said, if it was more than just a thing of the moment.

What would be like if things changed between them? What would be like if a good man wanted her as much as she wanted him for a change?

These are desires Rey hides really well.

And she knows it’s a trap that she led herself into. But even though she wanted to end things many times, the thought of not having his touch, the feeling of her body molding into his is just… too much to bear. So she says nothing and takes whatever he has to give her.

Rian’s hand clutching on her dress takes her out of her reverie. She looks down at him as she moves the grocery cart towards the cashier.

“Mommy, can we get ice cream later?”

“Sure, buddy.”

When Rey heads to the end of the aisle, she hears a high-pitched scream “Rian!” that could only belong to Hannah.

She’s definitely not ready to see him today, especially after thinking about things that make her feel so vulnerable.

She turns around and _of fucking course_ he’s there. Hannah runs towards Rian, hugging him, but Rey is locked into his gaze from the distance between them, not paying much attention to anything else. He's wearing dark denim jeans, white button shirt, his usual black boots and… glasses. _Fuck_. He looks so hot. Rey averts her eyes, feeling her cheeks redden immediately.

“Hi,” he says when he approaches her.

“Hey,” she croaks out and looks at him, crossing and uncrossing her arms over her chest, and then putting a stray of her hair around her ear. “What’s up?”

He raises his eyebrows and narrows his eyes at her, probably wondering why she’s acting so weird.

The silence stretches and Rian and Hannah look between them standing in the middle of the aisle.

“It’s daddy’s birthday!” Hannah suddenly yells. “We’re gonna bake a cake!”

“Is it?” Rey asks, looking at Hannah.

“Yes,” he answers.

She looks up and finds him staring at her. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, Miss Johnson.”

Hannah turns her attention to Rian, and together they head to the cashier, both of them in their own little world, unaware of how awkward their parents are around each other.

Mostly just Rey.

_What a disaster._

“Are you ready to go?” he asks as he moves his cart and stops by her side.

“Yes.”

“After you.”

He puts a hand on her back and she almost flinches at the sudden proximity.

She really wasn’t ready for this.

Still, he keeps his hand there and slides it up and down slowly, almost as if he’s sensing how nervous she is. Is it possible he knows it’s because of him?

Rey exchanges another look with him as they make it to the cashier, making him drop his hand. It’s insane how she can still feel his fingers there.

After Rey makes her way out of the supermarket, she puts the grocery paper bags inside the trunk of her car slowly, knowing that she’s stalling to spend more time with him.

He appears a few minutes later, his car parked on the other side of the parking lot, in front of hers. Hannah manages to slip from his grasp and comes running towards her and Rian.

“Hannah, sweetie, we have to go,” he says from where he’s standing beside his car, looking over at them.

Hannah ignores him and looks up at Rey. “Miss Johnson, do you know how to bake a cake?”

Rey smiles at her. “Actually, no, sweetie.”

Her face falls. “Oh.”

Rian looks at Hannah’s pout and then at Rey, “Mommy, can we take Hannah for ice cream with us?”

“Rian, I don’t know if—“

Hannah’s face lights up again and she runs back to her father, holding his hand and trying to drag him in their direction chanting _ice cream ice cream ice cream_ over and over again.

He stops in front of her (or rather, he lets Hannah stop him) and stares at her.

“I, um, we’re going to get ice cream. It’s close by and we can walk,” Rey says and looks at Rian, because it’s safer than looking at him. She’s so _nervous._ “Do you… want to go?”

“ _Please please pleaseeeee, d_ _addy!!!_ ” Hannah begs, her small hands clutching his shirt.

He looks at Hannah and then at Rey, scanning her face for any sign of discomfort. She smiles at him, reassuring. “Fine.”

Hannah screams in delight and Rian joins her, both of them listing the flavors they like the most.

They walk behind the kids in small steps for a moment. Out of the corner of her eye, Rey can see his eyes are intent on her and she feels a mix of embarrassment and excitement inside of her.

“Are you sure you want to go? They don’t have cucumber and spinach sandwich on 7 grain whole-wheat bread and a side of raw broccoli,” she teases.

He snorts loudly. “You’re a brat.”

Rey stops walking. He looks at her, worried that he might have overstepped her boundaries, perhaps, but then she smirks at him and before she can lose her courage, she blurts out in a low voice, “Perhaps I am. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Solo?”

He opens his mouth in shock and Rey sees how darker his eyes are. He steps closer and lowers his head in her direction, and then—

“Mommy, I need to tie my shoes!” Rian shouts, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking down at his feet.

Rey steps away from him. He clears his throat.

“I can help you, buddy,” he says and heads to Rian, bending down so he can get to his height.

Well, _almost_.

Rey watches him teaching Rian how to tie his shoes while Hannah listens to it, too, as if he’s telling the story of a fairytale.

They’re entranced by his patient voice, repeating the same process until Rian tries to his shoe on his own. And, when he succeeds, he and Hannah congratulate him. Her son beams at them, his cheeks rosy with embarrassment, not knowing how to be the center of attention.

Something swells in Rey's chest when Rian and Hannah hold both of his hands so they can continue their path to the ice cream shop.

He turns around to look at her, “Are you coming?”

“Yes.”

She’s so _fucked_.

…

Rey didn’t want to get ice cream, but surprisingly, _he did,_ and she can’t stop stealing looks at his big hands holding the small cone and the way his tongue licks and…

“Daddy, how old are you?” Hannah’s voice takes her mind out of the gutter and Rey looks at her, licking her chocolate ice cream cone as fast as she can, a bit of it slowly melting and staining her hands.

“Uh, thirty-five, pumpkin. I told you this morning, remember?”

Hannah frowns, deep in thought.

“How many years is that?” Rian asks.

“Rian,” Rey reprimands him.

“It’s okay,” he waves a hand at her and then looks at Rian. “It’s a lot of years, buddy.”

“Will I be thirty-five one day?” Hannah asks.

“God,” he groans as he finishes his ice cream and cleans his hands on a napkin. He shakes his head and continues, “No, you’ll never grow up, princess.”

“But I _want_ to!” Hannah pouts.

Rey laughs, thinking how adorable he always is with Hannah. She looks at him, and wow, he’s sitting _so close_ she can smell his aftershave. God, she really is...

He looks back at her, his hand trailing on her thigh and he’s smirking at her. Her eyes widen and she shakes her head at him, because _what the fuck_ is he doing, their kids are sitting in front of them. He only winks and whispers “ _It’s my birthday_ ” and his hand goes up, but she puts her hand atop of his, turns it and twines their fingers instead.

She feels him stiffen beside her, and she looks out of the corner of her eye how he’s intensely looking at their joined hands under the table. His eyes go back to her face and she’s blushing furiously, and when he squeezes her hand, her heart starts to beat wildly in her chest.

They don’t let go of each other’s hands until they have to walk back to the parking lot.

And then before he leaves and because she’s feeling bold or incredibly stupid—Rey never knows the difference between them when it comes to feelings—she steps into his space, rising on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear, “I’ll give your birthday present later.”

She turns around and walks back to her car without even looking at his face—because she’s not able to—feeling heavier and lighter, all at once.


	18. XVIII.

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	19. XIX.

Rey gulps the drink in one go and slams the glass on the counter a little too forcefully. It’s her fourth—or maybe fifth, she’s lost count already—tequila shot, and she feels the effects already: she’s way too relaxed and feels her inhibitions decreasing slowly as time passes. 

She agreed to come to the bar with Kaydel because she was bored and needed to go out and enjoy herself a bit while her son spent the weekend with Rose and Armie. 

Her fingers itched to text _him_ instead and accept his offer to take her somewhere so they could fuck all day through the entire weekend, but she needs to deal with the mess that are her feelings first. 

She’s been avoiding him ever since; knowing full well he’s aware of what she’s doing. And yet he hasn’t contacted her once. She doesn’t know if the fact that he’s respecting her limits makes her want to scream out of frustration—because _why the fuck_ he became so perfect, such a gentleman, total in contrast of how he was when he met her—or just makes her insides melt even more. 

Ugh, this is the _worst._

Kaydel pokes her in the ribs, getting her attention and points to a man standing in the far corner of the bar, who’s been looking at her ever since they came in. She looks at him through her lashes and just— _no._ She shakes her head and rolls on the stool, turning her body back to the counter, trying to get the bartender to come their way so she can order more shots for them, despite Kaydel’s protests. 

“Okay, what is wrong with him?” Kaydel asks and Rey just shakes her head again. “I know I don’t like men, but he’s kinda cute.”

He is, objectively speaking. But he’s blonde and just a few inches taller than her, and not at all muscular. And Rey wants someone freakishly tall, brooding, muscular, with black silk hair and pale skin, someone who can make her come until she is writhing in exquisite pleasure—

The bartender sets down new shots for them and before Rey can even think what she’s doing, she blurts out, “I’m fucking your cousin.”

Kaydel almost spits out her drink as she turns her head to look at Rey, brows furrowed. “What the fuck? How the fuck do you know my cousin?”

_Ah_. Rey’s stupidity knows no bounds. “I meant… your girlfriend’s cousin.”

Kaydel’s eyes widen. “Shut the fuck up! You’re fucking Benji?!” 

Rey only nods and Kaydel punches her arm, making her hiss in pain. “Ow!”

“You sneaky little lying bitch!” she exclaims, mouth open in shock. “Why the fuck did you lie to me?”

“I just didn’t know if that— if that was a good thing,” Rey answers.

“Of course it is!” Kaydel enthusiastically replies. 

“Is it?” 

“Why?” Kaydel leans closer, eyes curious as if they were part of a conspiracy theory. “Is he… you know, _bad_ in bed?”

“God, _no_ ,” Rey replies immediately. She puts her elbows on the counter and her hands on her face, “His dick is so fucking _huge_ , I swear I don’t know how he walks with that monster between his legs and—”

Kaydel’s face contorts in disgust. “ _Please_ stop talking about Benji’s dick. He’s like my cousin, too.”

Rey lowers her head to the counter, hides her face between her crossed arms and groans loudly. She feels Kaydel’s hand giving a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” Rey mumbles.

“Rey, are you…”

Rey waits for Kaydel to continue her question, but she doesn’t. She lifts her head and looks at her. She has a wide, knowing smile on her face, like she’s in on a secret no one told Rey yet.

“Am I what?” Rey asks, a bit annoyed.

“Are you in love with him?”

Is she in love with him? She asked herself that several times, after his birthday. Even more so after their last convo and the distance helped her to see things clearer. Maybe. It was easy to fantasize about him wanting her in ways she didn’t even recognize she wanted him to. If she rationalized it, she would say she definitely wanted him physically, and sometimes this wanting turned out to be a bit more… _needy_. 

Rey was always starving for things she never had, that much she knew to be true. She definitely thinks about him a _lot;_ like, _a lot, a lot_ . She's also sure she doesn’t hate him, not anymore. And she enjoys his company, even though most of the time they’re together they’re fucking, which is not a _bad_ thing, but does it count as being _in love?_

She didn’t spend time with him outside of having sex, and it’s a fact they don’t actually know each other. Not really, at least. And yes, he makes her nervous and that could be a factor to the reasoning that she is in love, but she’s always been nervous around him for reasons she cannot comprehend. 

And it’s been so long she let herself feel something for somebody, always worried to provide for Rian and having him as her priority made her forget how it is to be in love with someone. 

“Rey,” Kaydel’s voice is soft and soothing, “I know it must be hard for you, and I won’t pretend I know what you’ve gone through having Rian alone, but you’re allowed to have more, you know? Even if you’re scared.” Kaydel shakes her head, correcting herself, “ _Especially_ if you’re scared, because that means this is a big deal, and something you’ll regret in the future if you let go.” 

Rey cocks her head at her, and she almost wants to cry at her words. “Excuse me,” she says instead and gets up. 

“Yes girl! Go get him!” Kaydel shouts as she makes her way to the bathroom.

When she enters a bathroom stall, she takes her phone out of her shorts and opens his texts, wondering what she could say to him. And the more she thinks, the more her courage falters, and Rey realizes she needs to thread this more carefully. She’s drunk and she actually doesn’t know what to say. She’s not quite there yet. But she wants to, _desperately_ , so this must count for something, right? 

Right. 

Rey goes back to where Kaydel’s waiting for her at the bar, eyes alight with excitement, her face expectant. “So? What did you say to him?”

Rey sits down on the stool beside her and shrugs. “I sent him a pic of my tits.”

“Oh my god,” Kaydel groans. “You two really deserve each other.”

Rey doesn’t say anything back, instead gulps down another shot, but the idea of them deserving each other doesn’t scare her as much as it used to.

Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


	20. XX.

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	21. XXI.

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	22. XXII.

Rey fidgets on her seat, smoothing the front of her dress, trying to control her nerves. She looks at Rian sitting beside her and finds him nervously looking around to everyone in the restaurant, mirroring her own anxieties. 

“Hey, buddy,” she says and he turns his attention to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Rian answers in a small voice, still looking around.

Rey combs her fingers through his hair. “Are you excited to see Hannah?”

Rian’s face lights up and he nods enthusiastically. “I always love to play with Hannah.”

“That’s good, honey.”

“Do you play with Hannah’s daddy, too?”

It’s good that no one’s around and that Rian doesn’t understand why his mum turned into a bright shade of red. Rey clears her throat. “Yes, he’s… a friend,” she continues: “Do you like Mr. Solo?” 

Rian looks at her for a minute, deep in thoughts. After a beat, he answers, “Yes, because he bought me a sandwich and he lets me call him a giraffe.”

Rey laughs at that, then Rian holds up his hands as if remembering something else. “He also taught me how to tie my shoes.”

“Hey!” Rey scrunches up her nose at him. “I taught you that, too, buddy,” 

Rey hears Hannah’s voice before she sees them, a shriek so loud several heads turn their attention to them. Hannah is oblivious to it all, already running to Rian’s direction, pulling him into a hug. Rey gets up, feeling incredibly nervous about turning around and seeing him.

A million thoughts flooded her mind: Is this a date, even though their kids are here? How should she greet him? What if they don’t have anything to talk about and everything turns into a disaster?

She turns around.

_Oh_ , Rey will never get over how handsome he is, dressed in black from head to toe, accentuating his pale skin, wearing his glasses. And Rey’s stomach flutters as he holds her gaze when he comes towards her, a smile tugging up on the corner of his lips. 

“Hey,” Ben says when he approaches her.

“Um, hello,” she replies, in an extremely awkward way.

Why the fuck does she have to act like this, when this man has seen her naked several times already?

She extends her hand for him to shake, remembering how three months ago he refused to do it when they met. Oh, how far they’ve come. Ben lets out a soft chuckle, pulling her into a hug. One of his hands caresses her back, reassuring, while the other cups her jaw and makes her face him. He lowers his head and captures her lips in a slow kiss. She feels herself relaxing in his embrace, and when he breaks the kiss, she smiles at him. 

“Hey, again,” he gives her a quick peck on the lips. “Are you nervous?”

She blushes. “A little.”

Rey looks around to see if their kids saw them kissing, but they’re in their own little world playing with their Switches. 

“I can’t believe you’re admitting I make you nervous,” he jokes.

“Excuse me,” Rey says, getting out of his embrace. “I _never_ said that.”

“Oh, I am pretty sure you did, Rey.”

He says her name with an emphasis and a smile on his lips and she looks down at her feet, embarrassed. He puts his hand on her waist and drops a kiss on her temple. 

“I’m just teasing,” he whispers against her ear. “Don’t be nervous, please?”

She nods. He lets go of her, pushing a chair for her, then walks to the other side of the table, sitting on the opposite chair. He helps Hannah settle on her own seat and takes the menu. He looks at it for a moment and snorts.

“What?” 

“Look for yourself.” he points to the menu in front of her.

Rey picks it up and scans the options for a minute and then she sees what he’s on about: that _damn_ sandwich.

“ _Ah_ ,” she raises her eyebrows. “I see why you like to come here, then.”

“Maybe you should try it, Miss Johnson.”

“ _Shut up,_ Mr. Solo.”

“No veggies, then.”

“Ew, veggies!” Rian exclaims, nose scrunched up in disgust.

“I don’t like veggies, too,” Hannah joins him, making a face at her father. 

“Of course you do, pumpkin,” Ben tells her.

“Nah, Daddy,” Hannah shakes her head. “Veggies are _gross_. I like ice cream better.”

“Ice cream is good,” Rian agrees and turns to Rey. “Can we eat ice cream later?”

“Sure, baby,” 

“Us too, daddy! _Please!_ ” Hannah asks and puts her hands up, in a pleading manner. 

He sighs. Rey thinks he’s physically incapable of saying no to her. “Fine.” 

Ben looks at her and Rey can’t help but give him a smile, mouthing _I told you so_ to him _._ He rolls his eyes, but there isn’t any trace of real annoyance there, just fondness. Her heart skips a beat at the sight.

🍔🍟  
  


Rey is pretty sure Ben knows what he’s doing to her and is using it to his advantage, which is… different. Exciting. She felt considerably less nervous after all their banter and his jokes. He threw her a few looks and somehow she knew exactly what he was thinking, and the thoughts that came into her mind were totally inappropriate, making her all flustered. And he _enjoyed_ seeing her react like that, his cocky smirk doing things to her, making her press her thighs together under the table. 

But two can play at the game.

As soon as he raises his arm to call the waiter and ask for the bill, she takes off her flats and stretches her foot until it touches his ankle. He gives her a stunned look and she licks her lips and smiles playfully. She runs her feet up to his calf, his knee until it reaches his inner thigh. She twists her feet slightly, trying to massage there. He looks down at his lap and she feels his thigh tensing up at her touch, wondering if he’s getting turned on by this. 

When she realizes how affected he seems to be by her, she feels like she could get high on this emotion that consumes her whole body. She wants to get drunk on it, experience it every day. 

She slides her body off her chair a little and brings her feet closer to his crotch, only for him to grab and squeeze it. Rey licks and bit her lip when she catches him staring at her with a dazed expression on his face. His Adam’s apple moves upward when he shallows and she takes her feet out of his grasp.

The waiter brings their check and he barely looks at it and maintains his gaze on her, taking out his wallet and dropping a few bills on the table. 

  
  


“Come home with… us,” he asks when the waiter leaves. By the flush on his cheeks, Rey is certain he was going to say “ _with me_ ” and stopped himself. 

Hannah loves the idea and so does Rian, both of them clapping their hands in delight, completely forgetting the promise of ice cream, agreeing that spending more time together is better. 

Rey feels her body warm under his heated gaze, telling her everything he wants to do to her. He looks like a starving man about to devour her.

What is she supposed to do? _Say no?_

“Yes.”

  
🍔🍟  
  
  


Rey is a nervous wreck.

It’s the only way she can describe how she feels entering his house. The kids get off running through the corridor straight to the stairs that probably lead to Hannah’s bedroom, her excited voice promising to show Rian all her favorite toys. 

“Hannah, be careful,” he pleads as she runs off, ignoring her father’s protest. He sighs and looks at her, smiling. She gives him a nervous smile as they walk side by side, admiring a wall full of portraits. 

There’s a lot of him and Hannah, a few of her alone, one of them with Kaydel and Jannah, and another one with an older man and woman, who she assumes to be his parents. Rey doesn’t fail to notice there’s not a single picture of any woman who could be Hannah’s mother. 

Ben leads her down the corridor into the doorway, revealing a spacious living room, amidst black and white furniture arranged in a setting that could only be designed by someone who wanted things to be simple and elegant in the way only rich people would think it is. She spies his enormous two piece sofa set with ample cushions that look like she could sink right in and the loveseat futon beside it and starts to walk around slowly, as Ben goes behind the kitchen countertop. Above the fireplace are a scatter of more framed photos along with a sleek flatscreen TV. Some of Hannah’s toys are dispersed around the floor as well. Multiple white shelves are lined against the milky colored wall to blend in, filled up with classic novels. 

Beneath the last shelf is a record player sitting atop a wooden table and leather recliner beside it. It’s the bay window with a cozy sitting area beneath it that appeals to Rey the most, but as she stands there in the middle of the room, her nervousness comes back at full force. She can’t help but look at the space before her eyes and feel insecure and a bit intimated, wondering how he would feel if the roles were reversed and if it was him standing and looking around at her tiny, messy apartment. The contrast on their personalities and how they’re on the different stages of their lives makes her feel self-conscious.

She hears Ben’s footsteps near and then his arms close around her waist, his lips moving to her neck, planting open-mouthed kisses there. Her head lolls back to his shoulder and she squeezes her eyes shut despite herself, because the way he kisses and touches her it’s so _good_.

“Are you still nervous?” he mumbles against her neck, his hand coming up to massage the hair at her nape. 

“I, um,” she says and then stops.

“Rey?”

She can’t talk about her insecurities right now, not when they still have yet to find out what this unnamed, fragile thing _really_ is. She unclasps his arms from her waist, turns around and kisses him a bit too forcefully. He grunts against her mouth and pulls her closer, slowly walking backwards to the couch. He breaks the kiss and sits down and tugs her along, her legs straddling him with a bit of difficulty because of her dress. 

“I like the fact that you’re always wearing skirts and dresses around me,” he says as his mouth hovers across the hollow of her throat. “It makes things much easier.”

“I didn’t even—“ she replies and the rest of the sentence dies on her lips as he moves his face upwards and his tongue traces her lower lip and then inside her mouth, brushing against hers. 

“Relax,” he tells her between kisses that go from soft to consuming in a span of minutes.

She laughs against his mouth after a while and he stops the kiss, giving him a quizzical look. 

“What?”

Rey stares at his flushed cheek and his swollen lips and his dark eyes and forgets what she was even thinking.

“Rey?”

“It’s just that Rian asked if we play, too,” she replies, blushing.

He chuckles, his hand coming to cup her ass as he kisses her again, and again and again. 

“You’re good at this,” she says between kisses, her head dizzy with desire,“I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you, too,”

She tugs at his nape, fingers combing through his soft waves. “I like your hair.”

He lets out an amused chuckle and then pulls away slightly to face her. “Should I begin to list the things I like about you?”

Such a simple sentence. And yet her heart starts racing inside her chest.

She nods.

“I like your freckles,” he begins, his hand softly tracing the ones scattered around her cheek and nose, “I like your eyes, especially when they have a different glint when you’re looking at me.”

_What is he_ —

His hands comes down to cup her breasts, his pupils blown wide. “I like your tits and how I can fit each on my hand and mouth,” his hands trails lower and stops at her ass, palming them roughly. He licks his lips as he says, “I _really_ like your ass.”

Rey laughs. “Are you obsessed with my ass?”

“A little, yeah,” he agrees with a chuckle and continues, “But I think…” He looks down at her thighs, his hands coming up to the spot where she’s perched on his lap, lowering it to her center, tracing the damp patch on her panties. “I think what I like most is how wet you’re always are for me.”

Rey can’t contain the gasp that comes out of her mouth when he pushes her underwear to the side and slides two fingers inside. 

Still, no matter how horny she is, she remembers their kids upstairs. 

“Ben, the kids— _oh god—_ they’ll hear,” she mumbles, even though she moves her hips nearer to his hand—just a little bit.

“I think you need this,” he murmurs. He doesn’t look at her, instead focused on the way she’s clenching around his fingers. “Don’t you?”

“ _Y-yes_ , but—“

He leans in, his fingers getting deeper inside her. “I’ll fuck you,” he whispers close to her ear, his words making her shiver. “But only if you keep quiet. Can you, Miss Johnson?” 

She almost moans loudly at that, knowing for sure he knew exactly what he was doing to her, this handsome motherfucker. But she flutters her eyes closed and forces her mouth shut, focusing on the rapid pace his fingers are thrusting—

He stops. She opens her eyes and levels him with a look.

“I want you to watch,” he answers, completely unfazed. “I want you to see me fucking you with my fingers.”

She is definitely going to _die_ today. 

Ben slides his fingers inside again, slower this time and that’s not what she needs right now. She’s used to his cock by now, to the feeling of fullness she gets every time he pushes inside her. And that’s not even _close_.

He seems to pick up on that quickly. “Do you need more?”

“Yes,” she says in a low voice.

“So greedy.” 

She opens her mouth to protest, but he does what she asked, adding a third finger and— _oh god_ , a low moan escapes her lips because it’s so hard not to make any sound. 

“Rey.”

“Sorry, it’s just—"she whispers, bringing herself closer to his ear, her hips moving in sync with his hand as she wraps her arms around his neck. “ _So good_ , Ben, I’m almost—“

He withdraws his fingers and she grunts against his neck. She pulls away to stare at him, feeling all pent up and unsatisfied.

“What the fuck?” she questions, not even bothering to hide her anger.

The _fucker_ has the absolute _gall_ to smirk and she instantly wants to punch it off his stupidly handsome face. He did that before, a few times. He would bring her close to the edge and stop all of a sudden, making her whine and beg for him to let her come. She always came harder when he did that, and she thought it was hot, the way he would introduce her new things at sex, things she didn’t even know she liked before. 

Ben pulls her close and she goes willingly, “You made me hard in public and I had to wait several minutes to calm down until we could leave while you just smirked at me,” his voice is deep and hoarse against her ear while he bites her earlobe, drawing out a low whimper of her. “Don't you think you should be punished?” 

God, _yes_ , the image of him spanking her makes her even hornier, and she would love it, but they don’t have time for that.

“You can punish me later,” she offers.

He pulls away and looks at her quizzically, as if he still doesn’t believe she’s here agreeing with continuing whatever this is, learning and getting to know each other outside of sex. “Promise?”

It feels like he’s asking for more and Rey hesitates, her chest heaving, her heart beating wildly against her ribs.

“Yes, you can do anything you want to me,”

His eyes get even darker. “Anything?”

She rolls her hips against his crotch and he leans in to muffle a moan in the hollow of her throat. “I heard you like my ass.”

He lets out a grunt. “ _Rey._ ” 

“Ben, please let me come,” she begs, continuing to roll her hips against him, searching for friction, she _needs_ it badly. “I’ll be good, _please,_ I just—“

“Say please again,” he asks. His mouth is so swollen from her kisses and bites, his cheeks flushed and he looks so hot. She feels herself getting wetter, and it wouldn’t take much for her to come. 

“ _Please,_ Ben.” 

His fingers slide inside her again and he keeps a rhythm in and out, curving it ever so slightly, and she feels the pressure building low in her belly, she just _needs_ —

His thumb circles her clit and she loses it completely, her thighs shaking, one of his hands coming up to her mouth to muffle her scream. 

As she comes down from her high, he takes his hand off her mouth and brings her closer, and caresses her cheek. 

“Jesus, you’re so _loud_ ,” he jokes.

She huffs out a grunt against his neck, her mouth slanting kisses there, her hands feeling the warmth of his pectoral through his shirt. She looks down to his crotch, where he’s hard as a rock against his jeans. It really doesn’t look comfortable at all. 

“What about you?”

He follows her hand when she stops it close to where he needs it the most. He groans. “It’s okay, I can jerk off in the bathroom—”

“What? _No_.”

“Rey, I can’t be quiet when I’m fucking you, it’s just—”

She feels her cheeks getting even warmer. They’re both _very_ loud with each other and that thought makes her bite back a smile.

“You can put your hand on my mouth again,” she suggests and adds, a bit embarrassed, “That was hot.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

She touches him through his jeans and he whimpers. 

“See? I can’t—”

Rey lets out an annoyed huff and leans in, kissing her way down his jaw, his neck, until she moves upward and bites his earlobe softly, whispering in his ear, “Ben, please fuck me, I want your big cock inside me, _please_ , I need you to fill my cunt with your—”

Ben doesn’t let her finish as he gently takes her off his lap so he could awkwardly pull off his jeans and his boxer briefs down his thighs. He pulls her back into his lap, his hand pushing up her dress until her middle as she pulls down her panties, giving him enough room for him to press inside her slowly, making them both let out a breathy sigh. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he pants.

“Shhh,”

She moves her hips down on his cock until he’s fully sheathed inside her and squeezes her eyes shut, lost in the sensation of how good it feels the way he stretches him and makes her feel so full. 

“You’re too deep like this, _fuck_ , _so tight_ , I won’t last—”

“Good,” she breathes out, and lifts her hips just to slide down again. “We don’t have much time.”

Ben’s fingers dig into her hips as he thrusts into her over and over again, her hips bouncing a little on his cock, and she has to bite her lips to prevent from moaning out loud and saying the absurd amount of obscenities crossing her mind.

She feels his control fading and knows he’s close with how warm his breath is against her neck and how uncoordinated his thrusts are. And it’s both thrilling and terrifying, the fact that she knows exactly when he’s losing himself inside her.

“ _Rey,_ ” he whispers, “I’m gonna—”

“Almost there,” she whines, “Just—“

“I know you are,” he grumbles, burying his face at the crook of her neck. “Your cunt always clenches tighter around my cock or my fingers when you’re about to come.”

_Ah_. She can’t believe it’s him saying _that_ brings her over the edge and makes her come for the second time, his hand covering her mouth to muffle her moans again, and it only takes a firmer, rougher thrust of his hips against hers to make him spill inside. Ben tries to be quieter, bringing her closer so he can hide his face in her hair as he lets out a satisfied grunt. 

“ _Jesus fucking Christ._ That was…” she begins, trying to calm her erratic breathing. “Something.”

Ben lets out an exhale. “Definitely.”

He wraps his arms around her waist and she burrows into him unconsciously, enjoying the fact that he always seem to snuggle after sex, even if almost every time he’s still deep inside her. She cranes her neck to give him a sloppy kiss, too dazed and high on endorphins, feeling happy, satisfied and… safe. He kisses her back just as lazily, and it’s just… so nice. She could get used to it. Ben breaks the kiss and takes the strays of damp-hair off her forehead, just to lean in and press a kiss there.

There’s a moment of silence where neither of them say or do anything and just look at each other’s eyes, and he _really_ does have a handsome face, she thinks, and then something inside Rey shifts, and she feels her cheeks getting warmer and there’s no fucking way he doesn’t hear her heart pounding loudly inside her chest. She feels an urge to speak, to _at least_ try to put into words this mess of emotions she’s feeling and—

She touches his cheek. “Ben, I think I’m—”

“Daddy, we’re hungry!” Hannah yells from the top of the stairs.

They quickly scramble away from each other, Ben pulling his briefs and jeans up in record time and Rey doing the same with her panties and dress, wincing lightly at the soreness and slickness between her thighs. They exchange a look, and then a laugh about what they’ve just done and Rey can’t help but realize this is the first time that sex with him didn’t confuse her at all. On the contrary, she’s never felt so lighter.

The kids arrive downstairs and Ben turns his attention to them, promptly asking what they want to eat.

She will have her chance to talk to him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)!


	23. XXIII.

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	24. XXIV.

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	25. XXV.

It turns out time passes rather slowly when you want it to go faster. The last two weeks were the best and worst of Rey’s life at the same time. The best because even though Ben was out of town, every time they weren’t busy with work or their kids, they talked _constantly._ For hours, sometimes. 

It was like Rey’s walls were slowly falling apart, and in the safety of the dark, laying in bed, it was easy to open up and talk about everything: how she doesn’t know her parents, what happened with Rian’s father, what she wanted to do with her life before she got pregnant, how she’s thinking about his advice of trying to go to therapy every day and that perhaps she will. 

He listens to her, patiently, occasionally giving his opinions if she asks, telling her that he’s proud of her and she believes him. He shares bits of his life as well and Rey compiles all info he gives her, thinking how wonderful it is to get to know him better. 

They do the facetime thing, too. At first they’re both embarrassed about it, even though they’ve seen each other naked a handful of times already, but they miss each other and decide to try—and he takes charge because she lets him and because she likes it when he does that. It’s different, of course, but Rey enjoys it, these new experiences she’s letting herself have, especially with him. 

It feels like she’s discovering herself all over again, what she likes and what she doesn’t, and he always asks “ _Is this okay? Do you like that?”_ and listens when she replies “ _Yes_ , _please keep going”_ and does what she wants him to do. She feels heard, and safe, and valuable and _seen_. After the first time, it’s easier to do it again—and the filthy things they’ve done and said to each other made her excited and a little bit embarrassed, all at once. 

And the worst because she really wasn’t ready for how much she missed him. His comforting presence. His soothing voice. Just— _all of him_ . It’s such an intense and powerful feeling that consumes her from head to toe, and the fact that he’s all she thinks about makes her feel giddy and just a little bit frightened. She imagined their date a thousand times, and changed her mind about the outfit she chose with Kaydel’s help a hundred times, and— _God_ , she feels like a teenager again. In a good, positive way. She can’t wait to see him again.

At last, the day Ben is supposed to come back arrives, and _of course_ Rey is swamped with work at the restaurant and there’s a fucking PTA meeting she’s already late to. At least Rose and Armie agreed to take Rian to their house so she could have her date—not without a series of jokes and innuendos she’d rather not think about right now, because most of them are true. 

Rey crosses the corridor of the classrooms in quick steps, chastising herself for not having enough time to change her work clothes, already dreading the looks the other moms will throw her way. If she manages to get a chair close to the door, it’s likely no one will notice her, and then she can race to her apartment and freak out about her outfit until she decides to go with her pajamas. No, of course she won’t do _that_ , but she’s so fucking nervous, which is funny considering how many times she made fun of him for being scared of asking her out because they’ve already seen each other naked. 

She reaches the auditorium, trying her hardest to not make any sound as she goes in, so people won’t look back at her. Successfully and miraculously, she manages, but there’s no chair available in the far back of the auditorium, so she stands close by the door. She is so focused on Poe’s speech—some bullshit about harmony between parents and the community (she rolls her eyes at that)—, she doesn’t notice someone coming in until a hand is pressed at her back. She looks up and finds him staring down at her with a huge smile on his face. 

He’s not wearing a suit today, just black pants and a navy button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons upon, showing his collarbone. Her heart skips a beat. _Fuck_ , she really thought she would have more time to get ready to see him, and will she ever get used to how handsome he is? She doesn’t think so. 

The more time she spends with him, the more she thinks it’s impossible to get used to how amazed she feels by his presence. Ben lets his hand lingers on her back, his thumb tracing partners there, and she can’t get her eyes off of him, and he seems relaxed and comfortable and happy, she dares to say... to see her? 

Rey feels the exact opposite; her palms are sweaty, her heart is beating so fast and she feels a fluttering on her stomach… She feels even more self-conscious about her old work clothes and her dirty, disheveled hair. She was right about feeling like a fucking teenager. This is beyond ridiculous and a tad _mortifying_. He drops his hand from her back and takes her hand in his. 

She looks at him quizzically. 

“Come with me,” he whispers in her ear, and then he’s opening the door of the auditorium, dragging her through the corridor, his hand warm against hers.

After a few minutes walking through the desert corridor, he opens a door of a classroom and tugs her inside. His hands cups her jaw and his mouth is on hers immediately, his tongue tracing her lower lip and nipping it softly, making her whimper against his mouth.

She breaks the kiss. “What are you doing?”

“You seemed stressed,” he answers, his hands still holding her face close to his, his thumb caressing her cheek. “And I also missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she says and leans into his hand. “How was your—”

He lowers his head, his forehead touching hers as he interrupts her with a soft, slow kiss. “No talking, more kissing,” he murmurs against her mouth, one of his hands traveling down her back, stopping at her ass and pushing her against his body. She feels his hard length against her belly and moans into his mouth. 

He chuckles.

“I’m trying to have a conversation with you,” she murmurs when he moves his mouth to her jaw, and she _knows_ what he’s doing, even through the dizziness his kisses always make her feel. “You can’t possibly think anything is going to happen here.” 

“Why not?”

She looks at him like he’s lost his mind. 

“We’re at our kids’ school,” 

Ben just ignores her, continuing to press kisses every spot his mouth can reach, rubbing his hard cock against her stomach, and she lets out a low whimper because this is _not_ the kind of friction she needs. “There’s not enough time.” she completes.

“So greedy,” he jokes, giving her a dimpled smile that makes her legs weak.

_God_. This man is going to _kill_ her. 

His other hand comes down to her right breast and he pinches her nipple through her shirt, drawing out a breathy sigh of her. He heads her to the teacher’s desk, never breaking the kiss and puts her there, his mouth moving to nip at her jaw.

“Ben,” she breathes out.

“Yes, Rey?”

“We can’t have sex here. People can come up anytime, are you insane—“

He steps away and looks at her. 

“I want to do something.” 

His pupils are blown wide, cheeks flushed and lips swollen. It’s extremely hot to see how much she affects him, and Rey feels a surge of lust course through her body, pressing her thighs together. He looks down at her movements and smirks. And then gets down on his knees in front of her. _Oh._

She remembers what he said the first time in his car, that he wanted to eat her out until she gushed all over his face, and she was a complete idiot and said no. She dreamed about it several times, imagining what it would be like to have him and his beautiful mouth between her legs and waited for the opportunity to arise again. Still, they were in public, and no matter how much he liked to tease her about having it, the idea of anyone in the school catching them doing _that_ …

“Ben,” she repeats in a nervous voice.

“Do you trust me?” 

His eyes are intent on her, and it seems that he’s asking more than what’s actually happening. His hands caresses her thighs over her skirt.

“What if someone finds us—“ she manages to slip out. 

“Do you trust me?” he repeats. 

It’s unbelievable how she’s ready to throw caution out the window because she’s horny for him. She nods and lifts her hips, pulling skirt up, and he wastes no time pushing her panties down her hips, taking them off and putting it in his pocket.

“Ben, no fucking way, give it back,” she complains.

“I’ll give it back once I’m done,” he murmurs with a nip against her thighs. “Relax.” Another nip, followed by his tongue soothing the sting. “Always so eager for me, huh?” he smirks at her as he touches her folds, coating his fingers in her wetness. “You’re beautiful.”

She groans and blushes. 

“You are.” 

His head moves closer to her cunt, and he presses a soft kiss to her inner thighs, _closer_ to where he wants to be. “I always wanted to do this, ever since the first time,” he moves to her other thigh and kisses it one, two, three times, until he tilts his head and finally kisses her cunt. 

“ _Ohhh_ ,” she breathes out.

And then…

She wasn’t ready for the flicker of his warm tongue against her. One long swipe of his tongue and she’s… _floating_. Shivering. Her mouth leaves little sighs and “ _ahhhs”,_ and Rey can’t even describe what she feels when his tongue presses at her entrance, and it’s so fucking good she acts on pure instinct and buckles her hips forward, pulling his face closer, shamelessly grinding against his lips and _oh,_ she _will die_ of this. With him tearing her apart with his sinful mouth.

“You taste so good,” he flattens his tongue at her length, coating her wetness at the tip of it. “Look at how you’re dripping on my tongue.”

She looks down at him and— _fuck_ , she can’t believe how wet she is. She’s filled with embarrassment when she feels her cum leaking out of her.

Ben returns to his task, focused as ever, and Rey looks up to the door, worried someone might come in—

He hums against her cunt, a sound coming from deep down his throat, the vibrations sending shivers of pleasure through her entire body. Rey managed to be quiet so far, to her surprise, but this makes her lose it. She moans. _Loudly_.

He stops and she whimpers at the loss.

“If you won’t be quiet, I will stop,” he warns.

_Yes_. _Stop_ , it’s what she should definitely say. She’s too worked up.

So she doesn’t. 

“No, please, I—“

“Be quiet for me, Miss Johnson.”

“ _Y-yes_ , I will, just—“ she promises and tugs his hair back to where he was, his tongue immediately latching on her cunt and she bites her lips hard, concentrating on chasing the high that he’s leading her on, the pressure coiling tight low on her belly. Her orgasm hits her slowly, her thighs shaking as her mind goes blank for a few blissful seconds. 

Ben continues to slant his mouth over her and she wants to tell him to stop, but her mouth is tight shut and her mind is still focused on the delicious pleasure of his hot, wet tongue against her cunt, opening her up, licking her, tasting her. 

“I could do this all day,” he mumbles.

The part of her that’s close to another mind-blowing orgasm wants to say _yes, please, keep going_ , the rational part of her knows they have to stop, because they’re in public and they are at their kids’ school and they might get caught. Her words die on her tongue when he sucks harder at her clit and she’s coming again, _harder_ , and the effort of trying not to scream is heightening the tremors running through her body. He keeps licking her through her orgasm and it’s _too much_ , the pleasure bordering on pain—she pushes his head away.

“Please, stop,” she whines, her voice failing.

Ben groans, and she knows he could do this all day, but he listens to her anyway. He presses another soft kiss on her inner thigh, leaving the remains of her wetness there. 

He gets up and when he looks at her—Jesus, his chin is shining and his lips are red and puffy and she is both _mortified_ and _turned on_ . She pulls him closer, tilting her head up as he lowers his down to meet her for a kiss and she feels her taste on his mouth and it’s _filthy_ , _erotic_ and she wants _more_.

Later. She just has to wait a few more hours.

She breaks the kiss and smiles at him. “Give me my panties back, you thief.”

Ben takes her panties out of his pocket and helps her pull it up her thighs, push her skirt down and settle down on the floor, and this moment is so absurd he starts laughing, a clean, pure sound that makes Rey’s chest warm. He is so at ease with her, she wants to cherish this moment forever.

Suddenly, it hits Rey with full force—the realization of her feelings for him. She stops laughing and inhales deeply and just... keeps _staring_ at him, too astonished to be able to say anything, although she wants to. She _is_ in love with him.

He notices it, immediately, stepping closer, his hand coming up to cup her face. “Rey? What’s wrong?”

“Ben, I am—”

The door opens. _Oh fuck_. They were caught. Rey steps away from Ben, cheeks redden with embarrassment. Soon all the moms will be talking about what happened…

“Am I interrupting something?” 

Ben freezes. Rey looks at his face and posture. He seems rooted to the spot, looking at her without _really_ looking, until he turns around slowly and says in a furious voice:

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Rey has never seen him talk like that to anyone. Not even when they fought when they met. This is… something else. Something serious. She looks at the woman and she seems vaguely familiar. Rey feels like she recognizes her from somewhere, but can’t quite place where. 

“I texted you that I was in town,” she has a British accent, too. “Can we talk, Benji?”

“Not right now, we can’t,” he replies, his voice strained. 

Rey notices his hands are shaking, and then he clenches his fists at his sides.

“Benji,” she repeats and smiles sweetly at them. It seems fake, Rey assumes, even if she doesn’t actually know her. “I just want to see Hannah.”

_Oh_.

For the second time of the day, realization dawns on her, but this one isn’t quite as sweet and exhilarating as acknowledging she is in love with Ben. This one feels like the fragile foundations she was slowly building with him are crumbling inside of her. 

Ben seems… _torn_. He glances at Rey, evidently lost about what he should do. 

She nods.

Because what else is she supposed to do? She is Hannah’s mother. He should go with her, of course. Still, it doesn't make this any easier.

“I will text you later,” Ben whispers. 

Rey nods again. 

She watches him walk towards her, thinking that he will glance back and give her a reassuring look, something that will tell her everything will be okay, that none of this matters. That he’ll choose her.

He doesn’t look back. 

And that’s when Rey breaks.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/driversputa)!


	26. XXVI.

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	27. XXVII.

Rey has learned a few things about waiting. She feels like she's been waiting all her life for things she wanted so badly, it broke her heart. She waited for her family to come back. She waited to have a good foster family, to feel wanted and loved by people who were supposed to protect and care for her. She waited weeks, albeit uselessly, for Rian's father to appear and tell her she wasn't alone, like he promised. None of that worked out, so she stopped waiting.

Until Ben Solo showed up.

  
  


Rey waits for a week for him to text her. The ball is in his court. She tries everything to keep her mind off him and whatever might have kept him from saying what he promised to do: she takes all the double shifts she can get at Maz's; she cleans her entire apartment; rearranges the living room furnitures, decides it was better how it was before and changes it all back to its original place.

  
  


She asks Rian a thousand times if he wants her to paint his room and every single time he says no, he still likes blue, _thank you very much;_ she bakes and it's a disaster, just as she expected. 

There's nothing for her to do anymore, as she keeps staring at their texts, waiting for the three dots to appear. She's tired, confused and nervous. 

She contemplates letting it go. In the grand scheme of things, when she reflects about all of the shit that happened in her life, this is just a slight bump on the road. A minor nuisance, compared to what she went through already. 

Ben is just… another man. 

But then she remembers how much he helped her, how much he cared. His kind words when she needed the most, how he saw past her rudeness and willingly let go of his judgments first, in an effort to try seeing the _real_ Rey, no matter how many times she tried to push him away. She remembers their moments together the past few weeks, conversations happening late at night, when it became clear it was more than just sex. She thinks of how great of a father he is, always so patient with Hannah, and how he showed the same care to Rian, the way that he was thrown into Rey’s life and changed everything. 

Before him, Rey felt like she lived her life walking through a storm every day. Despite their bumpy, antagonizing beginning, he brought to her life, the calm after the storm. People always say how the calm eventually happens but before Ben, it never occurred for Rey.

Ben isn’t just another man. He is _the one_.

Although she knows he’s not _hers_ —and Rey is aware that a person isn’t something others can own—, the thought of losing him is unbearable. There’s a tightness on her chest, a lump on her throat and she's on the verge of crying. 

No, scratch that. She’s _definitely_ crying. 

“Fuck,” she mutters, wiping the tears running down her cheeks with the palm of her hand. 

“Mommy, that’s a bad word!” Rian exclaims from where he’s sitting on the living room floor, playing with his car toys.

“Sorry, baby.” she replies, somewhat mechanically. 

Rey feels crippling anxiety starting to invade her chest—suddenly it’s too much to just be sitting there doing nothing, just _waiting_. Waiting for him to decide what to do or when he’ll finally say something about where they stand now. Waiting for it to be officially over, even if they barely just began. 

_No._ Waiting has proved to be useless for all these years. She’s fucking tired of waiting and doing nothing. 

She’s spilling out the words before overthinking and her self-doubt takes over again, “Rian, what do you think of a sleepover with uncle Armie and auntie Rosie tonight?”

Rian gets up from where he’s sitting and screams _Yaaaaay!!_ , his toys forgotten on the floor, as he runs to his bedroom to grab his backpack. Rey goes after him, picking up a few clothes along with his pajamas, focusing on the task of getting his stuff ready to go as she tries to ignore how fast her heart is racing. 

Not long after, Rey adjusts Rian’s car seat, kissing his forehead as he tries to squirm away, protesting he’s too old for that. 

“You’ll always be a baby for me,” Rey says. Rian whines at that as she sits on the driver's seat and puts on the seatbelt.

Rey takes a deep breath and looks at herself in the rearview mirror. Her eyes are bleary, and it’ll be obvious to anyone she’s been crying. As she assesses the state of her clothes—jeans shorts, a white tank top, black Converse sneakers—, Rey wonders if perhaps she should’ve thought this through a little bit better. But then again, she has no idea what she’s doing, really. 

She just wants to have a say in whatever decision he’s going to make, wants to know all his options before he makes them. She wants to tell him how she feels, and hope it’ll make a difference in his life, because it certainly did on hers. 

🍔🍟  
  


Rey stays seated inside her car, staring at his front door for what it feels like… hours. Except that, when she looks at the clock on the panel, it’s been only five minutes since she got there. She knows the course of actions to go outside and ring his doorbell: turn off her car and take the key out of ignition, grab her purse, open the door, get out of the car, walk a few steps up the stairs until she’s finally on her destination. It’s so simple.

Yet, it’s like she can’t physically move at all. She feels paralyzed with the weight of all the ways things could go wrong. If she never says anything, she’ll never know his answer, but she won’t feel the pain of his rejection. 

She turns on the car again. 

If she never says anything, if she doesn’t let him know how she feels, she will spend the rest of her life thinking about what could have been. Always wondering about _if_ _only_. 

No matter the amount of hurt she’ll feel at his rejection, somehow it’s way worse to be perpetually trapped on the “what ifs”.

She turns off the car. Takes the key out of the ignition. Grabs her purse. Open the door. Get out of the car. One step at a time, she climbs up the stairs. Rings on the doorbell. 

And waits.

It feels like time has been playing tricks on Rey. An old man lets her in after introducing himself as Threepio, Mr. Solo’s personal chef. She almost laughed, thinking that all of this started because of his stupid sandwich. Despite her protests that she would come back later, he insisted that Ben would like to see her, as if he knew who she was. The idea that Ben talked about her with others made her slightly nervous and perhaps it meant something, so that was a plus.

But now she’s alone in his house, sitting on the same couch they fucked weeks ago and regretting the decision to come here on a whim. Regardless of all her overthinking, she has always been extremely impulsive, and right now all she can ask herself is: what the fuck was she even thinking, coming here?

A rush of insecurity and uncertainty crashes down on Rey, and she knows she has to get out of there. As soon as she gets up off the couch, she hears the sound of keys turning in the lock and his footsteps on the corridor. 

Things happen too quickly. 

Rey meant to try not to be seen and leave without making a fuss, because all her bravado disappears when she realizes he’s there. It would’ve worked, because the room is dark and Ben seemed to want to head straight upstairs, but as she tries to hide in the dark, she stumbles on her feet and bumps her legs on the coffee table.

“ _Fuck! Shit!”_ she hisses and immediately realizes her mistake, clapping her hands on her mouth as a reflex.

It doesn’t matter. She hears his footsteps coming back and he turns on the light, seeing her. Their eyes meet. 

He looks confused, surprised and… tired. Beyond that, even. He looks _defeated_. For a brief moment, she wonders if she missed her chance. She waited too long, perhaps, and now he's going to get back with Hannah's mother and try to be a family again and that’s why he’s looking at her like _that._

Oh, _fuck_ , this will... _crush_ her. 

She can't even think about this scenario without feeling a jolt of pain straight into her heart. And as the seconds tick by, she can’t keep staring at him in silence, it’s too overwhelming. 

“Threepio let me in,” she explains. “I think he knows who I am.”

_Have you talked about me to someone else? Does it mean it makes it more real if you mention me to people in your life?_ is what she wants to ask, instead.

Ben runs his hands through his hair and Rey has to fight the urge to run to him and do it herself, wrapping her legs around his waist and just keep kissing him until they forget everything else. 

“Rey, I am—”

_No_. She can’t let him tell her _“Sorry_ , _this won’t work out,_ ” without hearing what she has to say first.

“I need to tell you something,” she interrupts him, her heart caught in her throat.

“Rey…”

“No, just—let me finish, please? It’s _really_ hard and I’ve never done this and I need you to just _listen_ for a moment, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I know it’s probably too late, but…” She takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you.”

“Rey.” Ben says in a soft voice.

Oh god, he’s _really_ going to reject her, isn’t he? 

She glares at him, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. “You said you wouldn’t interrupt me.”

Ben presses his mouth in a thin line and keeps _staring_ at her. 

“I—I know I’ve been an idiot most of the time, and I’ve been rude to you and pushed you away when I wanted to do the opposite and I’ve been so fucking _blind_ for so long…” She shallows the lump in her throat. But once she starts, it’s easier to just let the words come out of her mouth in a rapid flow. “I really am _so_ in love with you. You probably will get back together with Hannah’s mother and it makes me feel awful to be here saying all of this because I know how it feels like to grow up without parents and my son knows how it feels like to grow up without a full functional family and I really am sorry because I know it’s too late, but I need you to know how I feel.”

“Rey,” he says, his eyes intent on hers as he steps closer, and she really shouldn’t feel like every step he makes towards her is an ounce of hope that insists to be renewed in her heart. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Her voice is nothing but a whisper. 

“Because I left you like that. I shouldn’t. And I know I said I’d text you, but things got really chaotic this week.”

“Oh.”

“Bazine left.”

Her eyes shot up to his face and, _oh_ , her heart is beating wildly inside her chest now. “She did?”

“Yes.” he sighs, runs his hands through his hair again. “I thought she finally wanted to be part of Hannah’s life, but she was here only for work. I don’t know why she looked for us if she knew she was leaving soon. Hannah was happy and ecstatic to see her mom, and then she was crushed once again when she left. I was trying to distract her from that all week.”

Her heart breaks for the young, sweet girl that has to deal with this kind of shit so early in life. “That’s… awful.”

“It is what it is.” He says and his voice breaks, and Rey wants to cry, sensing how much pain there is underneath. 

“I’m glad she has you, though,” she tells with a smile. 

He nods, then drops his gaze to his feet. “Great speech, by the way. Very eloquent, Miss Johnson.” he jokes with a chuckle and takes a step closer, his eyes returning to her face. “Do you really mean it? Are you in love with me?”

A beat.

Her fight and flight instincts almost kick in. She’s so used to it. But she looks at his face—a bit of earnestness and insecurity in his eyes—and she won’t fight anymore. Nor flight. 

“Yes.” she replies in a firm tone.

He lets out an exhale—whether it’s relief or happiness, she doesn’t know. But it feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and all she wants is to keep looking at him, and be closer…

“Can we... start over? I mean, if you want to, of course, I’m getting ahead of myself and—“

“No.”

Her heart drops. She really thought…

“We can’t start over,” he continues and strides over to where she is, their faces mere inches apart. “We can’t erase everything that happened. I don’t want that.”

“Okay, that’s fair, I—“ 

“However,” he adds, “We can learn from our mistakes and try our best not to repeat them. And move on. _Together_. Because I’m in love with you, too.”

She can’t help the smile that tug at her lips. “You are?”

“Not a doubt, Rey.” He brings his hand up to her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. She leans into his touch. “Probably ever since I saw you and you fought me in front of the entire school.”

She snorts. “That was... very _cool_ of me.”

“Yes. I liked having my ass kicked by a small, fierce, brave and stunning woman.”

She blushes at his praise. And then, she scrunches her nose at him, “I’m not that small, you’re the one who’s freakishly tall.”

Ben laughs and tugs her closer by the belt loops on her shorts, and then he’s cupping her jaw and leaning for a fierce kiss. His arms tighten against her back, and she almost can’t breathe, at how intense her feelings for him are right now. He breaks the kiss but keeps her close in his embrace, his forehead touching hers. She kisses him again, her hands coming down to tug as they keep kissing slowly, _oh so slowly_ , nothing like the franticness of their previous encounters. He kisses like he’s savoring her, like he has all the time in the world for it. Rey can’t get enough, her hands shaking but managing to take off this jacket, loosening his tie, fingers idly tracing his muscled chest, trying to unbutton his shirt as quickly as she can so she can feel his warm skin against hers. She wants him _now_ , _closer_ , _inside_. 

“I hope you’re not too tired,” she jokes between kisses, pressing her body against his. He’s already so hard for her. 

“You greedy little thing,” he murmurs into her neck, moving his mouth upward to nibble at her earlobe. 

Her hands drift lower to unbuckle his belt and tug down the zipper of his slacks, but he catches her wrists, stopping her. He moves away and she frowns at him.

He extends his hand. “Let me take you to bed.”

This is the next step, isn’t it? After this, there’s no going back. She roots to the spot.

“I’m here,” Ben says in a soft, soothing voice. His beautiful brown eyes rake over her, brimming with emotions. She wants to drown in them. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She takes a small step. 

Rey always wondered what it would be like if she let herself give in again. She thought she would feel the same dread and hopelessness she felt when she came back from the hospital after she had Rian and spent a year sleeping in Armie’s basement, with no money and nowhere else to go. When she takes his hand, she feels nothing but courageous and hopeful.

Ben squeezes her hand once, twice, as if he’s making sure she’s really there. She squeezes his hand back, no words spoken between them, but she hopes he can see in her eyes she’s _all in_. And then he clutches on her arm, bringing her closer, until he lifts her off her feet, and she wraps her legs around his waist. His mouth finds hers in a searing kiss, their tongues sliding together. His hands came down to grip her ass, securing her tightly into his chest.

“Don’t let me fall,” she mutters against his mouth as he heads upstairs. 

It feels like she’s asking more than just for him not to drop her on the stairs. And she thinks Ben gets that, because when he whispers _“Never,”_ into her mouth, she believes him.

🍔🍟  
  
  


When they get to Ben’s bedroom, he lays her down on his bed gently and soon his mouth is on hers, giving her slow and sweet kisses that makes her dizzy with lust, and she wouldn’t have minded that much to spend the night kissing him, because he’s just _so good_ at it. But as their bodies presses against each other in search of the right friction and their kisses become heated and frantic, Rey just wants to be as close to him as she can.

It takes a while for them to undress, because they just can’t stop kissing. As soon as Ben takes off her clothes, he dotes kisses on every bit of her skin he reveals—his mouth trailing down her collarbone, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, the underside of her knees, all the while muttering how gorgeous, beautiful and perfect she is. Rey is… _inflamed_. Every touch of his mouth on her body leaves her squirming with arousal. And she knows he’s taking his sweet time with her, even though it sure isn’t comfortable to be as hard as he is without any sort of stimulation. 

She shows him her impatience, trying to bring him closer and lock her thighs around his waist. Ben manages to not let her do that, and as he looms over her, he rubs the head of his cock on her clit once, two, three times, enjoying the way she closes her eyes and moans in pleasure. When he stops doing that and she opens her eyes, he’s smirking at her. _Fucker._

“Ben,” she says in a raspy voice. “Don’t tease me.”

He leans over her, closing his mouth on her pebbled nipple, his tongue swirling around her areola whilst his hand plays with her other breast. She arches into his mouth, a low whine coming out of her.

Ben glances up at her, still wearing the same stupid smirk on his face. She sees adoration in his eyes, though, and his voice is nothing but soft and gentle when he says, 

“Sweetheart, please be patient.”

_Oh_.

Rey’s breath hitches. Ben notices the change in her posture as soon as it happens, and damn it, why is being called such an ordinary thing makes her heart skip a beat?

“Say it again,” she whispers, holding his gaze.

Ben reaches up and cups her jaw. Then, pressing a kiss on her forehead, he whispers, “Sweetheart,” and Rey brings her hand to his neck, clinging to him as he moves his mouth lower and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose and whispers again, “Sweetheart,” She lets out a breathy sigh before his mouth comes down near hers and he kisses her for a moment, and then mutters into the corner of her lips, “Sweetheart.”

She’s never been treated with such care and tenderness in her life. She wants him so much.

“Ben, I need—“

He nuzzles her cheek, his hand coming down to rest at her hips. “I know what you need.”

“Good, so just—“

“What were you saying earlier about me being tired?” he interrupts in a teasing tone, kissing her jaw. 

“Well, you look tired,” she mocks.

“I’m not,” He moves his hand to her cunt and pushes two fingers inside, drawing a moan out of her. “Now that I finally have you in a bed, I’m gonna do filthy things to you all night long, Miss Johnson.”

Before she can reply, Ben withdraws his fingers and she whimpers. “Then stop fucking teasing me, Mr. Solo.”

Ben lets out a chuckle and then Rey decides she’s had enough. She pushes him off of her and flips them over, climbing on top of him, straddling his lap. She grabs his cock, smearing at the precum leaking from his tip and spreading onto his length, her hand stroking him up and down slowly.

He hisses and looks at her, astonished. “You’re really a wild little thing, aren’t you?”

She snorts. “Enough with foreplay. Are you going to fuck me or not?”

Ben lifts himself up, pulling her closer against his chest. His hand comes down between them and he helps her with a rhythm he likes. “I love when you do that,” he tells her in a hoarse voice. “Your tiny hands wrapped around my cock, trying to hold all of it—“

She groans at his words and grinds on his thigh, too worked up. “Ben, I am going to, I need—“

“Do whatever you want with me, sweetheart.”

Rey follows his words and doesn’t waste more time to lift her hips and guide him inside her. She sinks down on him inch by inch slowly, squeezing her eyes shut, mouth open in a ‘O’, enjoying the way he fills her up little by little, until he’s fully sheathed inside her and there’s just no more room. It’s always her favorite part of sex with him. When he’s all the way in and she marvels at the sensation of fullness, of closeness. She’s never felt that connected to anyone.

Rey opens her eyes to find him staring at her. She wraps her arms around his neck as she starts to grind up and down on him leisurely, taking her time, reveling in the way he’s letting her take control of this, always ready to give her what she needs. Ben leans forward, nibbling on her jaw, her neck, her throat, collarbone, his hands making their way between them to play with her nipples. 

“I love this,” he mutters against her collarbone. “You riding my dick, your tight, hot cunt clenching around me, it’s always so fucking good—“

Rey moans and fastens the pace in which her hips fall down on him, already feeling the pressure of an orgasm building low in her belly. Ben grips her waist, lowering his head to mouth at her breasts again, his teeth grazing slightly on one of her nipples and then she’s coming, her cunt clenching around his cock, her thighs shaking. She’s still riding onto him, increasing the pace, making him grunt against her chest, and she feels how he’s holding himself back.

“You’re so good to me,” she tells him, her thighs closed tight around his waist. “ _So good_. I am _so_ in love with you,” she continues as he starts to meet her thrust for thrust. And then, because she finds she likes the way they’re filthy with each other, she adds, “I love when you fill me with your cum,” Rey breathes into his neck, completely lost in the way he’s thrusting into her. “I will never let anyone else come inside me.” She nibbles at his neck, tugging his hair. “I’d let you come anywhere. _Everywhere_. My mouth, my tits, my stomach, my ass.”

Ben completely _loses_ it. He lets out a growl and flips them over, making Rey yelp in surprise. He bends her knees to her chest and starts fucking her in earnest. And _oh_ , the angle is everything, his thrusts becoming harder and hitting in a place so deep inside her.

“ _Fuck_ , Ben, _y-yes_ , I’m gonna—”

He doesn’t even let her finish. Soon, he puts a hand between them and circles her clit roughly while still thrusting hard inside her, and Rey cries out as she comes _again_ , stronger than before. She feels her legs starting to numb as Ben continues to push inside, drawing out her orgasm. She indulges in the pleasure aftershocks of it. 

Ben pushes her legs back down and reaches forward to give her a sloppy kiss as his thrusts becomes more erratic and slow. She breaks the kiss to move her mouth to his ear, nibbling at his earlobe and whispers, “Come inside me, love.”

“ _Rey_ ,” is the only thing he says before he spills inside her with a grunt, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. 

After his breath comes back to normal, he motions to get off of her, but Rey tightens her arms around his torso, his body pinning her down in the matters. She doesn’t feel suffocated, though. She only feels safe. 

“Stay,” she tells him. He nods into her neck and presses a kiss there. “But don’t you dare sleep, Mr. Solo, you promised to do filthy things to me all night long.”

Ben pulls away from her neck and looks at her. “God, woman, you’re _insatiable_. Let me rest for just a little bit.”

Rey snorts. “You’re allowed to take an hour nap for the night, and then you’ll have to fuck me again, _old man_.”

Ben gets off of her and lies by her side, his hand coming up to her chest to pinch her nipple.

“ _Ow_!”

“Call me old man again…” he threatens with a hint of mockery in his voice. 

Rey giggles and turns to the side so she can look at him. She scans his beautiful face: his sharp features, his angular nose, the moles scattered on his pale complexion. She brings her hand to touch his face, her thumb tracing his swollen, full lips. She can’t help it— now that she allowed herself to let her feelings run free, she wants to let it all out. She wants him to know how much she likes to look at him, to touch him. 

“You’re so handsome,” she tells him in a low voice, as he lets her hands come up to tangle in his hair.

He chuckles, disbelieving and she frowns at him. “You are,” she says in a firmer tone. “I've been attracted to you ever since we met.”

“I thought you were too busy hating me.”

“Maybe I just subconsciously hated you because I was attracted to you,” she suggests.

Ben brings her closer to him, and she rests her head on his chest as she closes her eyes. “That’s not how it happened, sweetheart,” he gently tells her. 

“Well, I’m just glad things are different now,” she offers.

“Me too, Rey. Me too.”

🍔🍟

Ben has been holding her close ever since, running his hands up and down her back, tracing patterns with his fingertips. She burrows into the warmth of his body, resting her face on his chest, enjoying the quiet and peace that comes from hearing his heartbeat against her ear. She can feel his cock hardening against her thigh and her cunt throbs at the thought of him being inside her again. She _really_ is insatiable, who would’ve thought. A while later, Rey murmurs into his chest. “You know what’s gonna be funny?”

“What’s gonna be funny?” he asks.

“When people at the school find out we’re dating.”

“Oh, are we dating now, Miss Johnson?” he jokes.

Rey gazes up at him and there it is, the smug smirk at the corner of her lips. She _hates_ him. 

Not really. But just a little bit.

“Yes, we are,” she answers without hesitation. “Say you’re mine.”

He chuckles, but there’s the same glint of adoration in his eyes she saw earlier.

“Say you’re mine,” she repeats.

She is kidding—mostly. There’s a part of her that maybe will always need reassurance. 

Ben slides his hands between and wedges her thighs apart, pressing his now _very hard_ cock into her entrance. He brings his other hand to her face, cupping her face and staring into her eyes when he tells her, “I am yours, Rey.”

When he pushes inside her, Rey lets out a sigh of contentment, and as he thrusts into her slowly, looking into her eyes, as close as they are, she believes him. 

**🍔🍟**

They talk for hours. About everything and nothing. In the safety of the dark in his bedroom, Rey voices her biggest fears and insecurities and dreams. 

“I think I want to go to college now that Rian’s a little grown up.” she tells him in a small voice.

“That’s good, Rey,” Ben presses a kiss to her temple. “Will you tell me if you need help?”

Rey knows it’s a hard process to let go of the fear of letting people in and accepting help. She’s been alone her whole life, and then she had Rian and it was just them against the world. That’s not the case anymore. She’ll try her hardest to take a leap of faith. For her. For Rian. For him and Hannah. They’re worth it.

She gazes up at him and presses a kiss to his lips. “Yes, I will.”

Ben cups her face in his hands. “Do you think you can stay over the weekend? Technically, we haven’t had our date yet.”

Rey rolls her eyes. “ _Fucking_ Bazine.” He laughs at her reaction and she continues, “What kind of name is that, anyway? Also why do I feel like I know her from somewhere?”

Ben hums, pressing kisses on her cheek, totally unperturbed. “It’s a stage name. She’s an actress.”

She scoffs. Of _fucking_ course.

“Are you jealous?” he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Rey doesn’t reply. He gives her a full smile—crooked teeth and all, and she can’t help but smile back. She’s _so_ gone for him. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about her.”

“Awesome,” she says in a serious tone. “It’s better that she knows you’re mine, now.”

“Duly noted, my jealous sweetheart.”

“I am not—“

Ben narrows her eyes at her.

“Fine. I am. _Ugh._ ”

“Anyway, as I was saying,” he continues, changing the subject. “Can you stay over the weekend?”

“I want to, but–“ she takes a deep breath and puts her hand on his cheek. “I keep thinking about Hannah. So maybe we could do something with the kids? I want to remind her she’s loved and wanted.”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at her for too long. Then he blinks once, twice, and he leans forward, hiding his face where her neck meets her shoulder. She doesn’t understand what’s going on, until she feels a wetness there and realizes he’s crying. Her heart breaks for him.

“It’s okay,” Her hands come up to his hair, carding her fingers through his luscious mane, massaging his scalp lightly. “We’ve got each other now.”

Rey doesn’t know how much time he just stays there hiding on her shoulder, but as he pulls away, there’s an urgency in his voice when he asks, “Are you sore?”

She is—just a little. But she shakes her head, and spreads her legs apart, letting him adjust himself on top of her and push inside. Rey holds him as he thrusts into her and she just can’t get enough. She feels dizzy with desire, drunk with the need of touching him, being closer to him. She presses her mouth on his chest, licking, biting, sucking—and his low moans just makes her lose her mind a little bit. She starts to lose herself in him, in this moment, keep it to her memory, all his little sounds of pleasure, all because of her. 

Making love to someone is everything she thought it would be and more.

🍔🍟

Rey wakes up to Ben cuddling her from behind, his erection poking her ass. She is not against the idea of morning sex, but Ben is nothing but an enthusiastic lover and he is quite… _proportional_ and she can’t ignore the soreness between her thighs now. 

Rey gets out of his embrace slowly and turns her body to face him. Slowly, she moves her hands up and down on his thighs, and reaches down to press a kiss close to his shaft. Ben stirs beneath her, but still doesn’t wake up. Rey wraps her fist around his cock, and then leans forward to lick his entire length. It’s that exact moment that he jolts awake. She gazes up at him, bites her lip and licks him again. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he mutters in a raspy voice. “Rey. Oh my god.”

She keeps looking at him as she wraps her hand around the base of his shaft, stroking it up and down slowly, while lapping her tongue at the head of his cock. He lets out a loud groan when she closes her mouth around him and starts to suck his cock in earnest.

“ _Jesus, Rey_ , this is not gonna last, _fuck_ —“ he babbles away, squeezing his eyes shut and opening then again a second later to look at her. 

It’s like he can’t decide what to do, and honestly, he really loses himself when he’s fucking her, but this is different. And the thought that Rey is making a man of his size turn into a blubbering mess because she’s sucking him off sends a surge of lust coursing through her body. She hums around his cock, just like what he did when he was eating her out, and his hand comes down to tug at her hair, shamelessly thrusting into her mouth. 

“Rey, I am going to—”

She pulls her mouth away from him and licks the head of his cock. “I told you I’d let you come inside my mouth,” she tells him and closes her mouth around him again, taking him as further as she can.

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” he curses.

Rey feels the muscles of his thighs tensing up beneath her and she can tell he’s so close. She fondles his balls and sucks _harder_ , and it’s not long until he comes with a grunt as she feels his warm cum on her tongue and down her throat as she swallows it all down. She pulls off of him with a _pop_ and licks her lips, gazing up at him. He looks like a man undone, his breath coming out in gasps and Rey marvels at the thrill that she’s done this to him.

“Was that okay?” she asks and smiles. “I didn’t exactly asked if you wanted to be woken up by—”

“By you sucking me off?” he completes, runs a hand through his hair. “By all means, you can do it every time you want to.” He takes a deep breath and adds, _“Seriously_ , every time. I am not complaining at all.’

Rey giggles and climbs on top of him, reaching up until she’s facing him, pressing her chest into his. She kisses him tenderly, opening her mouth to let him deepen the kiss. Ben holds her, his hands gripping her waist, as they kiss again and again and again. 

This is nice. Rey could wake up to this every day and she wouldn’t mind.

“Let’s take a shower,” he murmurs into her mouth after a while. “And then I’ll cook you breakfast and we’ll take our kids so we can spend some time with them.”

She breaks the kiss and glances up at him with a smile. “I agree with taking a shower and taking our kids somewhere, but I will _definitely_ not eat cucumber and spinach sandwich on 7 grain whole-wheat bread and a side of raw broccoli if that’s what you’re making me for breakfast.”

Ben laughs and his hand comes down to pinch her ass. “Brat.”

“I am still waiting for what you’re gonna do about it, Mr. Solo,” she teases.

Suddenly, Ben is getting out of bed, lifting her up in his arms. Rey yelps in surprise but locks up her thighs around his waist anyway. “You’ll find out real soon, Miss Johnson.”

She giggles. “Oh, I can’t _wait_ , Mr. Solo.”

Ben takes her to his suite and enters his shower still holding her. He kisses her again as he turns on the water. She slides down his body so he doesn’t drop her, although she knows he would try his best not to. They shower together for more time than it was actually needed, but Rey is blessedly _happy_.

The morning feels a lot like the beginning of something great.

  
  
  
  



	28. XXVIII.

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	29. XXIX.

**214\. [Timeskip: a few weeks later!]**

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	30. XXX.

Rey puts her phone down on the couch and thinks about Ben’s offer to move in. It’s true she  _ really  _ didn’t see that coming, but the more she thinks about it, the more the idea grows on her. Before dating Ben, thinking about changing her whole life like that would freak her out, and while she agrees it’s a big, permanent change, she finds she really can’t  _ wait _ to take the next step in their relationship. It gives her an immense sense of self-pride, knowing how much progress she’s made, trusting him completely now. 

Who would’ve thought.

Regardless, she has to think about how this would affect Rian. Even if he seems to like Ben and he loves spending more time with Hannah, he’s always been a sensitive kid and she knows that the sudden presence of a man in his life might confuse him. 

She gets up off the couch and makes way to Rian’s bedroom. It’s a Saturday and Ben left not long ago to pick Hannah up from his parent’s house so they could do something with their kids later that night. Rey usually lets him sleep in on the weekends, so it’s not a surprise when she comes into his room and finds him sleeping, holding his stuffed dog near his chest. She walks to his bed and lays down, smiling when he immediately nuzzles closer to her. She combs her fingers through his soft hair, reaching down to kiss his forehead and he stirs a bit. 

“Mommy?” he says, voice thick with sleep.

“Good morning, baby,” she utters, pressing kisses on his face. “Mommy wants to ask you something.”

Rian stretches his arms and rubs his eyes, peering up at her. “‘Kay.”

“How would you feel if we moved in together with Ben and Hannah?”

He frowns. “What does it mean?”

“It means we’ll pack all of our stuff and we’ll take them to their house and we’ll live there.”

Rey can see he’s processing what she said. After a minute, he asks, “Will I have to share a room with Hannah?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “You’ll have your own room.” He stays silent for a moment, his brow furrowed. Rey knows there’s something he wants to say but he just doesn’t know how to voice it yet. “Do you like Ben?”

“Yeah, he’s funny and makes me laugh.”

“He makes Mommy laugh, too.”

He hides his face in her chest and mutters against her dress, “But why do we have to go?”

Rey holds him closer, her hands returning to his hair, caressing it slowly. “We don’t have to,” she explains. “I’m just asking what you think, how you feel about it. If you don’t want to, we won’t go. Okay?”

“Why do you wanna go?” he asks in a small voice.

“Because I am dating Ben and we love each other very much and would like for us to be a family.”

“But–you said,” he starts and shakes his head, stopping his words.

“What? You can talk to me, buddy,” she reminds him. “You’ll always be my priority, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, okay? You’re my partner in crime, remember?”

“Okay,” he replies. “But you said it would always be you and me.”

Rey remembers the exact moment she said that. It was probably the first Father’s Day he actually understood what it meant and he wanted to know why he didn’t have one. The conversation broke her heart, seeing the sadness of being abandoned on his face and realizing something he didn’t even fully understand yet, something she knew so well and something she never wanted for her own children. She made up a nice story about them being superheroes, saying it was always going to be them against the world. 

“Yes, I said that,” she tells him after a while. “And it’s still you and me, buddy. But we have some company now. Isn’t that cool? To have more people to love you?”

“Mr. Solo loves me?”

Rey smiles. “Of course he does, baby.”

“Oh.” He seems to be surprised. Rey wants to cry. And then, “Do I have to call him dad?”

They haven’t talked about that yet. Rey loves Hannah but she doesn’t want to steal her mother's place, even if she’s an arsehole that definitely doesn’t deserve the sweet, bright kid that is her daughter. She would love it if Hannah called her mum, though. She loves her as if she were her own daughter. She has a feeling Ben feels the same way, too. 

“Only if you want to,” she says softly. “I bet he would love that, though.”

Rey watches his face intently, a mix of surprise and excitement dawning on his soft features. And then he says, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

He nods. “Can I play with Hannah all day and don’t leave when it’s time to go to bed?”

Rey laughs, hugging him tighter, kissing his hair. “Yes, baby, you can play with her all day.”

“Cool.”

Rey lays there for a moment, hugging her son and thinking about how much things have changed in the last few months, and how truly happy she is about it all. 

Life has never been so good.


	31. XXXI.

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	32. XXXII.

**241\. [Timeskip—Father’s Day weekend!] 242\. 243\. Mama Organa-Solo appears! [Timestamps aren’t accurate, it’s just to mark the time between the messages. Also, Benjamin didn’t leave his mom on read, he just called her back every time she texted. He doesn’t have a deathwish.] 244\. [Timeskip—a few months later!] 245\. 246\. 247\. 248\. ONE YEAR LATER. 💍 249.**


	33. XXXIII.

Rey lets herself be carried willingly over the threshold of the hotel room by her husband. 

_Husband_. 

God, it’s gonna take a while for her to get used to it. 

Never in a million years she thought she would get married. In her perception, it was such an inimaginable, crazy thing to even _think_ about. She didn’t think she would ever find someone she trusted as much to take this huge leap and yet, the ceremony of her wedding happened a few hours ago—something small and _simple_ , as much as Leia Organa allowed it—and she still feels like she’s in a daze. Everyone that was important to them—their kids, their family and friends—celebrating a day that will be always marked as the day they decided to be together forever, to become one. It’s a foreign sensation blooming in her heart, but it’s one she’s cherishing at every passing hour. And now... 

Now they’re alone. But _together_ , which she hopes it will always be, for the rest of their lives. 

As soon as Ben puts her down, she gazes up at him, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck, raising on her tiptoes to give him a soft kiss that doesn’t take long to turn into an ardent one. His big, warm hands wander through her dress in a frantic motion, as he leads her backwards slowly, allowing them to fall into bed in a gentle flow. He doesn’t break the kiss as he settles over her, her arms come up to slide his suit off, her deft fingers moving to his neck to undo his bow tie while his mouth does things with hers that shouldn’t make her dizzy after two years, but it does, _oh,_ how it does. 

“You know,” he mutters against her lips, his teeth grazing her lower lip lightly. “You look gorgeous on this dress, but I can't wait to take it off.”

“Well, Mr. Solo,” she says, smiling against his lips. “What are you waiting for?”

“Why, Mrs. Solo,” he chuckles. “Say no more.” 

He pulls back and extends his hand, helping her to sit up on the bed. He peels her dress off so carefully, as if it’s the first time he’s ever undressed her, making her heart beat wildly in her chest at his gentleness. When he finally manages to slip her out of it after a few complaints and grunts, she’s left wearing only a white lace, see-through lingerie, and his eyes rake over her body hungrily, his hand coming down to palm his hard cock through his trousers. At the sight of him doing that, Rey’s hands reach up to her breasts to tease her taut nipples, eliciting a growl out of him, and she utters, “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with a nod of his head. “I think I am.”

Rey watches him take off his clothes, his eyes never leaving hers as she continues to play with her nipples through her bra. As soon as he’s finally naked, he crawls back to the bed, his hands grabbing her thighs and pulling her closer. He bends down to suck a bruise into the soft expanse of her inner thigh and she squirms under his touch. She wants him _so much._

“ _Ben_ ,” she whispers. “I need you—”

“I know.”

He became so good at reading her cues, always ready to give her what she needs. He drags his fingertips to the waistband of her underwear and she lifts her hips, helping him push them down her thighs, already so turned on. He notices it as he tosses her panties somewhere across the room. “So wet,” he says before lapping at her center. “Always so wet for me.”

“Only for you,” she breathes out. He keeps licking through her folds, his tongue doing marvelous things as usual, and it’s _so good_ and she can't believe she’ll say no to this, _again_ , but she wants him closer, _inside_. “Please—“ she continues, not bothering to hide her impatience. 

  
  


“I’ll do this later,” he hums softly as he gives her one last, long stroke of his tongue, drawing a breathy sigh out of her. “Since you’re so impatient, Mrs. Solo.”

_Oh_ , she definitely loves when he calls her that, and the idea of spending the rest of her life sharing a last name with him make tears well up in her eyes. 

He climbs up on top of her, his warm, heavy body a comforting, centering weight over hers. He glances at her and realizes she has tears in her eyes, reaching his fingertips to wipe them off. “Don’t cry,” he says softly. She nods and he smiles as he leans over and captures her lips in a kiss so delicate, it takes her breath away. He doesn’t waste time to drag his hand under her back and unclasp her bra in one successful try. He pulls back, removing and discarding it in the same way he did with her panties, and she’s finally bare beneath him.

They gaze at each other for a moment, and although he asked for her not to cry a few minutes ago, his eyes are shining with unshed tears. So sensitive, her dearest husband. So understanding and gentle. She can’t believe she’s found him and they’ve managed to get through their rocky start and end up here. Married. Starting a family together.

His hand comes up to caress her cheek and he whispers, “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

She smiles. “I can’t believe you’re my husband.”

Ben kisses her again, his hands wandering over her body, and when he adjusts himself and pushes inside, she sighs happily into his mouth, as he whispers words of love and praise between kisses and slow thrusts, and when they come together, it's an immeasurable pleasure that makes her heart beat faster, her skin tingle, her toes curl.

It’s magnificent. It’s everything.

**🍟🍔**

After, Rey climbs on top of him and lays down on his chest, enjoying how soothing the sound of his heartbeat under her ears is. Ben runs his hands on her back, his fingers tracing patterns all over her skin, and she hums in delight. She sees the morning light peeking through the curtains of the hotel room and can’t help but think that this, waking up in his arms at their home, with their children safe and sound, would be enough for her to be happy forever. 

Still, she’s not surprised when he asks, “Are you happy?”

Because he always asks that. He’s always worried about how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, if she needs anything. He’s a good man. He’s gonna be a great husband. 

She peers up at him, resting her chin on her hands and smiles. She tells him what she always says whenever he asks her that, 

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been, Ben.”


	34. XXXVI.

**250\. [Another timeskip—1 year and a half later!]**

**CW: pregnancy.**

**252\. 253. 254. One year later <3 **

* * *

**THE END.**

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/foIkIxre)!


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